The Avid Bruxist Fixes Her Stitches, Part the Ninth, Including Literally the Worst Pants in the World

Hello, gorgeous babies! Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist is back with another Fix. In fact, I’m one behind, so look for Part the Tenth shortly. (See parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.)

First off, a blouse very similar to one I got in Fix 2, and it was just OK, you know?

To be on the safe side, I consulted Kate, as per uzh.

Me: “This shirt–does she do anything for me?”

Kate: “I think Patrick is voting no! Kind of hides your light under a bushel. And by light I mean your sweet rack and tiny waist. And by bushel I mean kinda cheap-looking, see-through fabric that looks like maternity wear. It’s a really good color, though! I tried to give you a compliment sandwich, but really it was a tostada of nope.”

Lol. Tostada of nope. Have I mentioned lately how Kate’s my favorite?

One thing I like about Stitch Fix is they pick things I’d never even glance at on the rack. For example, despite being re-educated about it, my brain still insists on discounting black and navy as a combo, when in fact it’s a totally legit option in the year of our Lord two thousand sixteen. Take this shirt that went over better with Kate than the tostada of nope:

These pants are a gordita of never. These pants are literally the worst pants in the world.

SLAPPED MY FACE AND CHALLENGED ME TO A DUEL LOLOLOLOL. If you don’t know Kate, I’m sorry.

But then there were some pants that did not brandish Wogdon pistols at me:

I’ll have to have them hemmed, but I thought they were very flattering. Kate agreed:

Now you know: if you run into Lysse Mollie straight-leg, FMO, face-slapping, duel-challenging sweatpant-slacks in a store, GIVE THEM THE ASS.

Moving on to accessories!

She asked if I liked it, and I was like, yeah, it’s fine, but exactly how often do I expect to be making a statement like that? I teach sixth grade. Decided to send it back.

That’s it for Fix 9! Dudettes, please use this link to try Stitch Fix for yourself because if you do that, they’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep posting these silly blogs about it. (I don’t get no monies for posting. No opinions have been swayed by monies.)

Stay tuned for future Fixes!

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