The Avid Bruxist Fixes Her Stitches, Part the Seventh, or #thatsnotaknifeTHISisaknife

Hello, lovers! Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist is back with another Fix. (See Parts 1, 2, 34, 5, and 6.)

First up, a shirrrrrrrt.

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Michelle Cross Back Knit Top

I like this shirt. Cool pattern, or possibly upholstery on Granny’s couch pattern, what do I know really. Also, I feel like Kate would say it “hits” me in the “wrong spot”, BUT NOBODY ASKED YOU, KATE. (Not related: Kate, call me–I have a question.) Also too, lookee:

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Criss-cross applesauce.

Bet you weren’t expecting that! I wasn’t either, but I yike it. Just have to (a) leave my hair down, or (b) make sure my bacne is under control on days I wanna wear it.

Next a simple black V-neck (and V-back!) shell:

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Fun2Fun Blount Flutter Sleeve Blouse

Good for work or play! Dress it up, dress it down, belt it, cinch it.

These jeans were comfy:

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Kut From the Kloth Kate Distressed Jean

…so I was hoping Kate would say keep ’em, but instead she said, “Boyfriend cut?” And I was like, “OMG SORCERESS HOW DO YOU KNOW JUST BY LOOKING.” She said boyfriend cut jeans were for people shaped like Posh Spice, which one could debate that I am not.

It’s OK though because they had deliberate rips on the right leg, and I just don’t dig pre-disastered jeans.

They could probably send me one of these infinity scarves every Fix, and I’d keep it:

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Look by M Chloe Houndstooth Infinity Scarf

But then, what is this, like, Crocodile Dundee chic or something?:

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Pixley Analisse Anorak Jacket

I thought maybe it was just because I hadn’t zipped it up.

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It wasn’t because I hadn’t zipped it.

Would accessorizing help?

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Accessorizing would not help.

I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it, so I asked Kate. She was like, “It’s too big for you.”

OH! Gah, sometimes I still don’t get it.

Hey! Use this link to try Stitch Fix for yourself because if you do that, they’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep posting these silly blogs about it. (I don’t get no monies for posting. No opinions have been swayed by monies.)

Stay tuned for future Fixes!

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Read my other stuff at Fat CrossFitter and Baby Happy Pants.

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