Setting the Bar Low

I’m inspired to write down some New Year’s resolutions…primarily by my friend Dan, who has resolved not to miss an episode of “The Jersey Shore”.  But also by an e-crush who grew an ironic mustache for his friend’s New Year’s Eve wedding, and resolved to shave off his ironic mustache.

Here goes:

  1. I’ll wear clothes to work.  What I slept in the night before can still count.
  2. I’ll water my plants when (a) I remember, (b) they turn yellow, or (c) they grow a pair and ask for what they need.

Feel free to make suggestions or add your own resolutions in the comments section.

5 thoughts on “Setting the Bar Low”

  1. i will let the dogs out. if it is not too much trouble to get up out of the recliner. i may even let them back in. maybe

  2. i will feed my cats once a day. i may change their litter twice a week, but only if they poop on the floor to remind me.

    i will change my baby’s diapers right away when they are poopy; if they are full of pee i will change them when it is convenient for me.

  3. I’m inspired by everyone’s lofty goals. I’m going to add to my list:

    3. I won’t beat my dogs. Except sometimes Redford when he really deserves it.
    4. I might have a baby in 2010, but I probably won’t.
    5. I will eat the shit out of some ice cream and bacon cheeseburgers.

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