If the contents of your first email to me are:
I would to see you tonight?? (sic)
and you include a picture of your Hummer on your profile, then we are not a good match.
If we’ve exchanged two emails each over OKCupid, and you find and friend me on Facebook, then I will be creeped out.
If your profile states:
honestly….trying to find a total stranger in the area willing to help me with a quirky, simple, and safe favor….its odd…but i am serious….
and you have no picture posted, and you email me to say:
can you chat? favor to ask ya… then I will respond, “If it’s sexual, no thank you.”
(He didn’t get back to me after that one. Guess he didn’t need me to pick up his birthday clown from the airport.)
If your online dating handle is Fast_backhand, and your profile pictures are of you playing tennis, and in my email response to you, I say:
So…do you play tennis? (Ha ha. I make a leetle joke there.)
then don’t reply, “I do play tennis, yes.”
**********
I went on a date with a 25-year-old on Friday night. He was cuter than his picture and perfectly nice, but I kind of got the feeling I would eat him alive.
Also, etiquette question, since I’m trying this let-the-dude-pay thing: I’m also a firm believer in letting the guy do a little chasing, so I’ve always let him contact me first if he wants a second date. But when a guy treats, I feel like I need to email and thank him for buying me dinner. Thoughts?
Social norms are weird. Do what feels natural.
What feels natural is sitting at home in my underpants watching “Downton Abbey” by myself. Not sure that’ll get me a mate.
I prefer breakfast in bed after the first date..That’s usually thank you enough for dinner and a movie.
Social norms are weird, indeed, but they are norms. I would say, say thank you at the time, and say you had a nice time if you did. An email solely to say thank you for buying dinner would overemphasize the monetary aspect of things (moving away from the social and into the market). Better option: work the thank you into your acceptance of the second date.
Sorry, I just spent two hours with a behavioral economist talking about psychology of money, so now I have Opinions.
Joe, I haven’t had any first dates in a long time that went *that* well.
Erin A, that’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. Your Opinions are sanctioned. Literally.
I defer to Hammer.
(Amy, that follow-up comment was Hilarious.)
i spent all weekend sitting at home in my underpants watching “downton abbey” by myself. way better than dating.
i have no other thoughts on this matter.
p.s. how have i just started watching this amazing show?! and more importantly: when will series 2 be on netflix?!? i need to know what happens between bates/anna, mary/matthew, dowager countess/peneope wilton. NEED TO KNOW.
We all defer to the Hammer.
Yes, Shayne, but see?, you already have a mate, so you can do that AND own six cats and you still won’t be that crazy recluse who children are afraid to trick-or-treat. Amazing how having a live-in loved one legitimizes so many otherwise quirky behaviors.
I also NEED TO KNOW, but I don’t think it’s going to be released until TWO THOUSAND TWELVE. WHAT?! That’s so long from now!
Hummers, tennis racquets, birthday clowns…anything else today? Nunu, you would probably eat anyone/thing cute alive and they should be grateful. Now you need to consult an economical behaviorist.
Thanks, Bost, for your deference.
Amy– any time! I am happy to give Opinions, when asked. The BE and I write about dating/online dating a lot (!), so I’m here for you.
i agree with grandude. altho i would definitely pick up someone’s birthday clown.
but he doesn’t like british period pieces so i’m not sure how much longer it’s going to last.
but srsly i hear you, sorry was just trying to commiserate. instead i will provide feedback on your posted question: i agree w/allinghammer & granddude. i vote no on birthday clowns in general.
Granddude, I like your attitude.
Oh, Erin, you can be my guru.
Margo, I would too! I would totally have picked up his birthday clown at the airport, but his silence after my response leads me to believe his “quirky favor” was something involving The Sex.
Shayne, oh girl hold UP. He doesn’t like British period pieces? Commiserate away. (I guess Dug has other pros…maybe.)
uggghhhh… That was the sound of me being totally unamused by British period pieces. Shayne can watch all of them that she wants, but I will not be joining her. I did however dig the Sherlock Holmes thing we watched recently
As to the dating thing, like Phil mentioned, do what YOU think is right. If you want the guy to chase you, let him chase. If you had a great time and want to call him, call him. It doesn’t have to be rocket science, just be yourself and if he doesn’t like it, he can take a hike.
What does “eat him alive” mean? Or should I not know? Would it be fun for anybody? Or nutritious?
I’ll forgive you for your dislike of English period drama, Dug, since you gave such wise advice on the dating thing.
Not nutritious, Bruce. Not fun. More like overwhelming him. Like, I imagine him not being able to keep up or stand up to me. And lord knows I need somebody who will call me on my bullshit.