Category: Gluten Freek

Wherein I whine about being NCGS (non-Celiac gluten sensitive).

Athos, Porthos, and Aramis Can Suck It

Yesterday, I ate my annual Three Musketeers bar and then wondered on Facebook how many years it would take me to remember that THEY’RE GROSS.

Because if I’m working on one skill in my old age, it’s turning down bad-for-you food if it’s not frickin delicious. If I’m going to put crap into my system, I try to make sure it’s sublime.

But yesterday, I had to go to yet another meeting, and I felt like I deserved a treat for going, so I went to the vending machine. The pickins were slim. I don’t know if Three Musketeers was my best choice, but when you’re trying to avoid gluten, options are limited.

Anyway, my status update led to an academic discussion of Three Musketeers’ worth when juxtaposed against other works in the chocolate bar canon. And a scientific discourse on the peanut butter-to-chocolate ratio in mini Reese’s cups vs. that of the full-sized variety.

Enlightening stuff.

So, my question is: which sweet treat do you pass up even when it’s offered to you free of charge, and which, despite its required money- and calorie-expenditure, will you snarf anyway because it’s totally worth it?

I'll let you know right now that, lately, this stuff has been haunting my dreams.

I Think I’m Onto Something

About four months ago, I’m not sure why, I went off coffee and onto tea. I had weaned myself off caffeinated coffee anyway, and I don’t know, I guess I just thought tea would be healthier. Anti-oxidants and whatnot.

I was also trying to implement some paleo stuff into my diet, and though coffee and tea are equally paleo (or non-), coconut milk in coffee is NOT GOOD, while in tea it’s semi-palatable.

Anyway, I tried decaffeinated English Breakfast, and Earl Grey, and Chai, and various ginger teas—burny! Burny in my throat! (My friend, Evers, when I told her that, asked, “Meredith Baxter Burny?”)

Then for no particular reason this weekend, I bought some half-and-half and brewed a pot of coffee.

You know what’s better than tea with coconut milk?

Coffee. With half-and-half.

Ask the AB: Van’s Gluten-Free Frozen Waffles

Let me be clear. I review food (“DELICIOUS!”) like I review art (“PRETTY!”). Regarding yesterday’s review, my friend/web ninja was like, “OK, everything you said in the second video needed to be in the first 30 seconds of the first video.” And he gave me a bunch of suggestions about who to watch and emulate. I’m gonna get on that.

Probably.

At some point.

Can’t I just say, “It’s YUMMY! You should BUY it and EAT it!”? Like I do here?

 

New Feature: Video Reviews!

You asked the Avid Bruxist! (No, you didn’t!) Here’s your first review: Mellow Mushroom Gluten-Free Pizza

For my video debut, I probably should’ve showered, or put on some make-up, or closed the window so you wouldn’t hear the traffic, but Redford makes an awesome cameo (of sorts) in this one, so I just had to post it.

I forgot one thing:

I not only have a blog; I have a vlog. I’m a vlogger. I vlog.

How Did I Not Know About Kale Until Now?

Sauteed shrimp, with a side of crispy baked kale.

Not a side of sadness.

I ate a whole bunch of kale. And I don’t mean “a whole bunch”, like “a lot”. I mean a whole BUNCH of kale. When you buy a bunch of kale at the grocery store, how many people is that supposed to feed?

Actually, who cares? It was delicious. I dropped some on the kitchen floor and shouted, “Five second rule!”

And I live alone.

In related news, I broke my heart

-covered mug.

“What’s That?” You Ask

Why, that would be

braised cube steak with orange zest and sauteed onions, and a side of sauteed brussel sprouts.

That I cooked. As my 21-month-old niece would say, deeYISHus!

Now, do those two foods go together in the gastronomic sense?

I know not. I care not.

And did this dinner give me the toots?

Yes. Yes, it did.

But whatever, y’all. I’m cooking! Turns out, all you have to do is get a recipe and do the things in the recipe. That’s it. (Were it that simple with finding a boyfriend!)

Another thing I’m learning: you folks who cook things, you wipe down your stoves every day, don’t you? Every day. That part sucks.

Lunch

Salad (farmer’s market lettuce, olive oil, balsamic, mustard, and raw garlic):

Yes.

Sauteed mushrooms:

Hell, yes.

Omelet:

Bah!

I followed the recipe and everything.

But to make up for it, looky here:

THAT---would be almond butter.

From raw almonds.

That I roasted.

And then made

into

almond

butter.

(This is funnier if you imagine me saying it in a sing-songy, victorious voice.)

I get my Laura Ingalls Wilder badge, now, right?

Chicken-Vegetable Soup, Redux

Remember that massacre in a pot I made?

It was supposed to look like this:

Yeeeeeaaah, boyyyyyyyy.

Here it is in a bowl:

Soup that I made. In a bowl.

Here it is in the fridge:

Soup that I made. In the fridge.

I almost took pictures of me and the soup frolicking together in a meadow. That’s how good it is.

Can I tell you something? I poached chicken. I took chicken, and then I poached it.

And I made vegetable soup and put that poached chicken in that vegetable soup, and it is delicious.

I’m cooking. I’m a cooker. I’m a caulker and a cooker.

I’m pretty sure there’s no end to my talents.