Every time I spend more than a couple hours with my dad, he gets his ramble on, and I’m reminded that he’s one of the funniest people I know. He came for an overnight visit on Friday, just for the hell of it. In 24 hours, this all happened:
“I should’ve had this winter coat cleaned. It’s all rumpled and looks like hell. Of course, I’m all rumpled and look like hell, so it’s really me.”
*****
[when I showed him a picture I took of him and my dogs] “Yes, I like that picture very much. My arms are bigger than Bruce Willis’s. And my face is obscured which is probably a good thing.”
*****
“A lot of violence. A lot of violence.” [recapping a 90s Dolph Lundgren vehicle he recently found in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart (“$5 for 8 movies on one DVD!”)]
*****
“You’re talking to a man who knows. I mean, he’s talking to you. You’re brushing your teeth.”
*****
I often overhear from another room Dad having conversations with my dogs. A few months back, I caught him explaining the family tree to Violet:
“Your mistress is my baby girl.”
This time he mostly talked to ‘Nita, as has already been documented, and to Redford:
“You’re looking well rested this morning.”
And
“You’re a good doggy. …If only you could get me another cup of coffee.”
We got a little bit of this when he spent the night with us:
“What are *you* doing? Or, what do you *think* you’re doing?”
….
….
“I’m talking to your cat.”
YES.
genius runs far and fast through the branches of your family tree.
but WHICH 90’s dolph lundgren movie?! universal soldier? showdown in little tokyo? men of war? i cannot be the only reader of your blog who is dying to know… right guys? right?!
p.s. we have to watch “showdown in little tokyo” sometime. it contains my favorite line of any movie ever. i don’t know if i should spoil the surprise by telling you now.
It was “Men of War”!
And don’t spoil the surprise–I want my experience to be pure.
Oh you’ll know the quote in that movie when you hear it (Showdown in lil’ tokyo). It has become part of our Lexicon to describe when something is really fucking confusing.
I hope Rocky 4 and the end of communism was part of the Octet (?) of movies