Every time I spend more than a couple hours with my dad, he gets his ramble on, and I’m reminded that he’s one of the funniest people I know. He came for an overnight visit on Friday, just for the hell of it. In 24 hours, this all happened:
“I should’ve had this winter coat cleaned. It’s all rumpled and looks like hell. Of course, I’m all rumpled and look like hell, so it’s really me.”
*****
[when I showed him a picture I took of him and my dogs] “Yes, I like that picture very much. My arms are bigger than Bruce Willis’s. And my face is obscured which is probably a good thing.”
*****
“A lot of violence. A lot of violence.” [recapping a 90s Dolph Lundgren vehicle he recently found in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart (“$5 for 8 movies on one DVD!”)]
*****
“You’re talking to a man who knows. I mean, he’s talking to you. You’re brushing your teeth.”
*****
I often overhear from another room Dad having conversations with my dogs. A few months back, I caught him explaining the family tree to Violet:
“Your mistress is my baby girl.”
This time he mostly talked to ‘Nita, as has already been documented, and to Redford:
“You’re looking well rested this morning.”
And
“You’re a good doggy. …If only you could get me another cup of coffee.”