A whole group of my friends went out last night for a birthday celebration. In keeping with New Year’s Resolution #1, I wore a silky brown criss-cross t-shirt, my DKNY sweater, the Gap jeans that I had tailored, and my witchy Danskos. I blew my hair dry and even put on some lipstick.
I arrived a little late for dinner because my pit bulls had been piled on top of me on the couch, and that’s a pretty pleasant state to be in. There was a space at the table across from an apparently single male in my age bracket. He was cute, had a little beefy-Matt Damon thing going. We chatted over our meal. We discovered we had the same taste in TV shows. He mentioned struggling to come out on Friday nights these days because of the two dogs that he had at home who really enjoyed cuddling.
The whole gang moved to a bar, and dude and I sat together, still conversing easily. He invited me to his Superbowl party.
It got late. Finally, he put on his jacket, looked me in the eyes, and said, “So…”
And I’ll tell you, nothing makes you feel like Marla Hooch like when the guy you’ve been flirting with all night asks if your beautiful, thin friend is single.
Forehead slap. Jesus christ men are Fucking Morons.
That was an unintentional grammar troll.
*Jesus Christ, men are fucking morons.
trolling yourself is pretty advanced, Phil.
Oh, Ame. I’m sorry. I really don’t get men sometimes.
But Marla HOOCH! hahahaha! You slay me every time.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
oh my GOD. what did you say in return?!
I was like, “Oh, she’s taken.” But in my mind I said, “Oh, what a surprise. Going for the hot one you haven’t said a word to all night. COULD YOU PLEASE STOP BEING SUCH A CLICHÉ?”
men. sigh.
As a guy let me say you (women) are all hot. That is just the way it works – basic biology. Someone is going to figure out how funny you are and beat your door down. In the meantime, I can’t explain men, but I have been married for 12 years. What do I know?
oh my god! like i was saying last nite, i don’t effing understand men and i have given up trying. i second phil’s comment. and third and fourth and fifth it. seriously. i just don’t understand.
Amy & Phil. Figure it out! Stop being word jerks. I will resend this message until it it is gotten.
In a nice and supportive way – but I will still send.
What are you talking about, cke? Phil and I play this game on Facebook where he posts on my wall with intentionally poor grammar and I pretend to get mad about it. It’s called “Grammar-Trolling Amy Scott”, and it’s fun for the whole family. Or at least for him and me.
Though I was clear you were serious with the comments on the Floridiot post, not sure what your intention is here…
blech. douchebag.