I’m so tired. So, so tired. Like, same kind of tired as back when I mainlined glutenCould I be making a baby? How early in a pregnancy is the begone-with-ye-I-must-sleep-for-a-fortnight feeling?

Come to think of it, glutenday got away from me a bit this week—I’ve had bread several days in a row. :/ Maybe that’s why I’m draggin ass?

…Though it could be because my jerk-brain’s been rattling me conscious at 4:30am lately.

…But it might be that I put the kibosh on caffeine the day of my insemination.

…Or maybe… maybe my body’s exhausted from growing a baby. I don’t want to count any chickens though! (One… two… threefourfivesixseveneight.)


How long does it take to detox from caffeine? I’m dying. I’m dead. Put me in the ground so I don’t stink up the joint.

Would it be so bad? Just a little bit? I spend the afternoon googling. From AmericanPregnancy.org:

caffeine & pregnancy

When I tell a friend at the gym about this dilemma, she mentions “the NASA study with the spiders”. What?

I go home and look it up:

spiders on drugs

Mother of! I’d be better off toking.

I decide to suffer through my fatigue. Woe.


My resolve lasts 12 hours. Jerk-brain has roused me once again several hours before my already-obscene wakeup time, and I just can’t. just can’t. just can’t face the idea of molding the minds of 110 twelve-year-olds in the state I’m in. I make 3/4 decaf and just 1/4 caf, and tra la la, tra la la, and a heidy heidy ho! I feel like a million bucks!

Wait. Does that mean it was caffeine-withdrawal and not baby-growing? Now I feel like two bucks. A two-dollar bill. Queer and not that useful.


Everyone keeps asking, “So?”

I don’t know yet. Not-as-nice nurse said to wait ’til Day 12 and, if I don’t get my period, to pee on a stick.

It’s Day 8.

Come on—BE DAY 12, BE DAY 12, BE DAY 12.