The votes, both in the comments section and on Facebook, are overwhelmingly in favor of my deleting our friend Marty’s comments and blocking him altogether.
Following are some of the Facebook responses.
My girl Erika: i think it’s crass and gross, both of which are fine in some circumstances (namely, when you know someone well and feel mutually comfortable making crass and gross comments together) . . . but not here. with this. i say you block him, like, forever. some random dude doesn’t get to freely, on a whim, make my friend feel uncomfortable.
I agree, definitely, with the first part, the part about knowing someone and feeling mutually comfortable being crass and gross. Excellent point, and thanks to her for articulating that distinction.
BUT this is the internet. I’m choosing to put my stuff out there for the world to see—and comment on. It’s Marty’s right to read and respond and, indeed, freely, on a whim, make me feel uncomfortable.
My BOYFRIEND added: Can you mark those comments as spam? Akismet may be able to learn that his comments are spam and block him based on the username alone. Otherwise, I can go through your server logs this weekend and see if we can’t figure out which IP to blacklist. pwnd.
And his IT compadre added: You might consider blocking the MAC address too while you’re at it.
…which are total fix-it answers, but don’t address my question of whether I should delete/block The Maggot. You guys are such guys! “Here, lemme fix it fer ya!” Ha ha. (For the record, I don’t know what a MAC address is.)
From my friend Sam: yah, I agree. The maggot must go.
And my homeboy from elementary school: The Great… and Powerful… Avidbruxist… has spoken… (while fumbling to find the hole in your curtain to duck into)…I say bounce him….
Everybody in the comments section voted ‘bounce’ too.
And Deborah made this point: Let me put it this way: if Marty were leaving these messages on your phone, wouldn’t you have him blocked? If he were walking past your house all the time, wouldn’t you shut and lock the door? Why let someone abuse you and your friends just because you’re too nice to say ADIOS ASSHOLE!
Am I (or are we) being abused? I don’t know. Margo said she’s always been uncomfortable with his comments, so maybe it is abuse.
In any case, I’m definitely not “too nice” to tell him to fuck off. I just—
Marty, is there anything you’d like to say? And I don’t mean that in the now-is-when-you-say-you’re-sorry way. I mean, really, I’m interested. What was the point of that last comment? To be funny? To shock? To make me all squirmy?
If it wasn’t to make me uncomfortable, does the fact that it did change anything for you?
You guys are making me out to be a lot more important than I really am. Likewise, I don’t think my last comment was important enough to ascribe any real intent to it, but it was the most worthy object of my time that I could find at that given moment.
Was it meant to be funny? Well, I thought it was funny, but I recognize that most 30-somethings don’t share my puerile sense of humor, so it isn’t as though I was fishing for guffaws. If it’s going to incite all this hemming and hawing, it’s nonetheless hard to resist posting.
Your response is a lot more enlightened than your fellow readers.’ An internet blog is nothing like a home answering machine or a front porch. But as a fourth grade teacher, shouldn’t you know that the best response is none at all? It’s pretty obvious (to me at least) that I’m just trolling for attention. Ignoring it would eliminate any source of gratification I’m getting, and then you’d terminate me while averting any crisis of conscience (also silly, IMO) as a blog admin.
Anyway, sorry for the protracted silence. My well of stupendous wit was a little dry, and I wanted a little time to bask and enjoy the impassioned deliberations over my future here. I won’t be devastated in the least if I’m somehow “bounced,” even though I suspect I have too many IP addresses to block. I suppose if the sense of discomfort becomes too palpable, this will cease to be fun for me anyway. But the spectacle at this moment is too entertaining not to at least tune in and listen.
Marty has waaaaaaay too much time on his hands, and I have too little. The guy who talks about jerking off into a baggie for his teacher tells me I’m not “enlightened”?! Thank you jesus!
i agree with marty. you are spending too much time and energy on him, amdthat gets him off.
kick his ass out. if he comes back, do it again whenever it makes you uncomfortable. or just delete what makes you feel uncomfortable. he ain’t worth the angst.
in a reference that may be too old for you, and certainly for the maggot:
think of me as your swayze. and NOBODY puts amy in a corner.