“Amy, this is your neighbor Barbara.
Call me back. It’s about your dogs. Bye.”
Oh my god ohmygod OHMYGOD
Options: calls: recent
Number restricted
Barbara, why didn’t you leave your number?
Was it Charlie?
Did that meth-head finally take a break
from mowing his lawn after dark
and take out his pistol
and shoot my babies?
Deep breath:
Inhale exhale one.
Inhale exhale two.
Oh god.
Someone let them out of the fence
and a Ford F-150
(inhale exhale three)
doing way more than 40mph
tore them limb from limb.
Inhale exhale four.
God, grant me the fucking serenity
to accept the fucking things
I cannot fucking change.
Inhale exhale five.
Who would have let them out of the fence?
No!
Someone took them!
Someone saw
their pit bull jaws
and snatched them away
to bully their way to dollars.
Inhale exhale six.
It takes one hundred
deep breaths
and untold catastrophic fantasies
to get from my school
to my house
to find that my dogs
had been digging
a hole
in my yard.
Fuck you, Barbara.
I LOVE THIS. Thank you. It’s just perfect. And yeah, fuck you, Barbara. Who leaves a message like that?!
Stop looking into my yard, Barb!