Confession: My Celebrity Crush

I’ve never been one of those girls who gets celebrity crushes.  I mean, except…

macchio…of course. But honestly, who DIDN’T?

That being said, I’ve got it bad, man.

kitsch_taylor12_jpgAnd I’m a little creeped out with myself, to be perfectly honest.  Because I’m not really crushing on Taylor Kitsch, 29, Canadian actor.  I totally have the hots for Tim Riggins, the character he plays on NBC’s “Friday Night Lights”.  Riggins plays fullback for the Panthers.  Which is a football team in Dillon, Texas.  A high school football team.  (shudder)

I mean, I guess I can’t be blamed.  He’s smoky and surly and a little greasy and sweaty all the time; he drives a big, black truck; he and his brother live on their own; he drinks a lot of beer; he beats the living shit out of other men (boys?) every episode.  But if I went into my bedroom and found Tim Riggins sitting there silently, like one of the cheerleaders did, I think my clothes would have spontaneously unraveled into a pile of cotton-blend thread on the floor.  INAPPROPRIATE.  I KNOW.

It’s official.  I’m a dirty cougar.

Anybody else out there want to share their celebrity crush?

I [Stir-fry] Myself

Joined Match.com today. OKCupid was not cutting it.

Sometimes, just for shits and giggles, I like to play Mad Libs with the dudes’ profiles.

“You want somebody that: treats you like a [dolphin], [swiffers] you, has a money paying [monkey], won’t embarrass [your cat], [screams] charge, makes you [speak Arabic] and will listen to your [rotator cuffs] but not fix them.”

Why I Do My Job

Nadia-note

Dear Ms. Scott,

You are the best teacher in

the world!  And you ALWAYS will.  I love

how you teach us.  I always understand

what you mean because you explain it

to use [sic] in a way that you would under-

stand if you were a kid our age

learning it.  Also I love the activities

that we do!  So when we have a test

about it we will remember the activit-

y and then we will remember the

things, which leads to a good grade!

I can’t wait to see Violet!  But I

can wait with the EOG’s.  I’ll always

remember you!

Your student,

Nadia

Coll’ Me

On Saturday, I went to The Weave to pick up something for lunch and there, on the hot bar, was a dish of emerald greens.  I didn’t know what they were but was surprised when I looked at the tag:  collards.  The only way I’ve seen collard greens is brown and wilted, with a big hunka fatback in ’em.  So I’d never tried them.  Well, I was still skeptical so I took only a couple.  After I tasted them, I almost went back in and got more.  So good.

Anyways, I stopped by a roadside produce stand yesterday, and there they were, big and leafy and intimidating.  But I bought some, looked up a recipe online, and cooked those collard greens.  I’m not sure I should get a badge on my Authentic Southerner vest for this because the recipe was from epicurious and included no pork-procured fats, but I’ll have you know I MADE A SLAMMING COLLARD GREEN.

A List of Non-food Items Redford Has Eaten

  • my Teva flip flops
  • Mary’s Chaco flip flops
  • director’s chair
  • down pillow
  • Laura’s metal fish garden ornament (?)
  • leashes (4)
  • antique rocking chair from Granny Scott’s house
  • dog beds (2)
  • cat beds (3)
  • the pillow I made in kindergarten with my hands prints on it
  • socks (multiple)
  • Newsweek
  • roll of scotch tape
  • the cat’s scratching post
  • Laura’s basil plant
  • Laura’s Japanese maple
  • blankets (lots)
  • my door mat
  • Laura’s door mat
  • Erika’s brand-new door mat
  • Maxwell the Cat (attempted)

to be continued….

NFBFPFTS

On March 31 of this year, I sent in my portfolio to the National Board of Professional Teaching Standards (NBPTS—I’ll let you guess what the Fs stand for in the title up there).  The portfolio included four papers, two videos, diagrams, documentation, and evidence.  Two and a half months later, I took an exam, which consisted of six essay questions.  All of this was an attempt to show that I know what I’m doing in the classroom.

Each entry of the portfolio and each essay is scored separately and weighted, and a passing score is 275.  Results were posted last Friday, and my total score was 274.4.  If I had scored 0.006 of a point more on an entry or 0.013 more on an essay question, I would have passed.

So, I’ve been having some feelings.

At first, I was stunned.  I really thought I would pass. I got an A+ on my Master’s thesis and graduated with a 4.0.  I work my ass off, and I learn new things every year, and I’m a good teacher.  I may not be great, but I’m good at what I do.

Then I got really embarrassed.  For one, my family doesn’t so much “not pass” shit.  And aside from that, despite the fact that in the last three years only two out of a dozen or so of my co-workers have passed the first time around, I felt ashamed that I didn’t belong in that group.

What followed was anger at myself.  I did solid work on that portfolio, but honestly, I didn’t really study for the test.  I looked over some U.S. history materials for the social studies question, and that was about it.  If I had studied for 0.013 of an hour more….

After that, I just got resentful as hell.  On any other day, one of those 28 people who scored my stuff might have given me a fraction of a point more.  Maybe one of the scorers was having a bad day.  Maybe she was sick of reading the response to the same question a million times.  Maybe the tag on his t-shirt was scratching the back of his neck.  Whatever.  And there’s no appeals process.  I can’t request a re-score on even one section.  I therefore have to redo a section and wait until NEXT NOVEMBER to get my new results.

I really could have used the 12% raise this year.  But mostly, I just could have used some good news.