Category: Uncategorized
Protected: Is That a Telepornator in Your Pocket?
Confession: My Celebrity Crush
I’ve never been one of those girls who gets celebrity crushes. I mean, except…
…of course. But honestly, who DIDN’T?
That being said, I’ve got it bad, man.
And I’m a little creeped out with myself, to be perfectly honest. Because I’m not really crushing on Taylor Kitsch, 29, Canadian actor. I totally have the hots for Tim Riggins, the character he plays on NBC’s “Friday Night Lights”. Riggins plays fullback for the Panthers. Which is a football team in Dillon, Texas. A high school football team. (shudder)
I mean, I guess I can’t be blamed. He’s smoky and surly and a little greasy and sweaty all the time; he drives a big, black truck; he and his brother live on their own; he drinks a lot of beer; he beats the living shit out of other men (boys?) every episode. But if I went into my bedroom and found Tim Riggins sitting there silently, like one of the cheerleaders did, I think my clothes would have spontaneously unraveled into a pile of cotton-blend thread on the floor. INAPPROPRIATE. I KNOW.
It’s official. I’m a dirty cougar.
Anybody else out there want to share their celebrity crush?
Protected: Make Me a Match
I [Stir-fry] Myself
Joined Match.com today. OKCupid was not cutting it.
Sometimes, just for shits and giggles, I like to play Mad Libs with the dudes’ profiles.
“You want somebody that: treats you like a [dolphin], [swiffers] you, has a money paying [monkey], won’t embarrass [your cat], [screams] charge, makes you [speak Arabic] and will listen to your [rotator cuffs] but not fix them.”
Why I Do My Job, Part 2
Why I Do My Job
Dear Ms. Scott,
You are the best teacher in
the world! And you ALWAYS will. I love
how you teach us. I always understand
what you mean because you explain it
to use [sic] in a way that you would under-
stand if you were a kid our age
learning it. Also I love the activities
that we do! So when we have a test
about it we will remember the activit-
y and then we will remember the
things, which leads to a good grade!
I can’t wait to see Violet! But I
can wait with the EOG’s. I’ll always
remember you!
Your student,
Nadia
Coll’ Me
On Saturday, I went to The Weave to pick up something for lunch and there, on the hot bar, was a dish of emerald greens. I didn’t know what they were but was surprised when I looked at the tag: collards. The only way I’ve seen collard greens is brown and wilted, with a big hunka fatback in ’em. So I’d never tried them. Well, I was still skeptical so I took only a couple. After I tasted them, I almost went back in and got more. So good.
Anyways, I stopped by a roadside produce stand yesterday, and there they were, big and leafy and intimidating. But I bought some, looked up a recipe online, and cooked those collard greens. I’m not sure I should get a badge on my Authentic Southerner vest for this because the recipe was from epicurious and included no pork-procured fats, but I’ll have you know I MADE A SLAMMING COLLARD GREEN.
What’s Your Thing?
Some people pray. Some meditate. Others do yoga or cook or hike or swim. It seems like everybody has something that centers them, that brings them back to what’s important, that helps them get through the day.
What’s your thing? How do you do it? How often? How much time do you spend on it? What does it do for you?
A List of Non-food Items Redford Has Eaten
- my Teva flip flops
- Mary’s Chaco flip flops
- director’s chair
- down pillow
- Laura’s metal fish garden ornament (?)
- leashes (4)
- antique rocking chair from Granny Scott’s house
- dog beds (2)
- cat beds (3)
- the pillow I made in kindergarten with my hands prints on it
- socks (multiple)
- Newsweek
- roll of scotch tape
- the cat’s scratching post
- Laura’s basil plant
- Laura’s Japanese maple
- blankets (lots)
- my door mat
- Laura’s door mat
- Erika’s brand-new door mat
- Maxwell the Cat (attempted)
to be continued….