Amy’s Fashion (Mis)Adventures: Tricky Backs & Carol Burnett

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist—she is back with another (mis)adventure! (For previous posts, scroll to the bottom and click the Fayshun tag.)

You get a double-dip again because I am perpetually weeks behind on everything that isn’t absolutely essential, and a few things that are.

Also, sorry about the fuzzy first pic. I think my dad* was messing with the thermostat, so the AC was on, and my computer camera had, like, frost on it.

*If you’re just joining me, my dad lives with me, not the other way around.

I was psyched about seeing dark jeans in the box, but motherfffffffff.

Mavi Alanis skinny jean $88

I shared my frustration with Kate, natch.

Kate asked how noticeable the whiskers were.

I thought the stylists would review your file and shit before they shopped for you, and I think they do to a certain extent, but it occurred to me that, like most Americans, they’re probably paid too little to do too much, and they skim it, rather than pore over it, so I’m not taking chances anymore. I’m including this note with every future Fix:

I’m interested–what does your yes/no list look like?

Very occasionally I throw caution to the wind and pull the tags off before I check with Kate:

Olive & Oak Maryanne striped pullover $58

Kate: trying to improve my body image since 2011.

Not trying to improve my body image? This shirt:

Papermoon Patrise 3/4 sleeve open back knit $38

Get fucked, tricky backs!

I was lost on the next piece. It somehow both hugged my curves and made me feel mannish? Fortunately, Kate was there to break it down for me.

Abbey Rose Vanda zipper detail knit top $38

I miss those orange pants.

Stitch Fix sent me a skirt, which made me realize, I don’t own any. Like not one. So I thought I’d keep this one if it was OK with Kate.

Gilli Willet knit skirt $48

And they are sending me petites, but I guess I’m even petiter than most.

OK, we’re done with the first box. Are you ready for the second one, or do you need a break? Take a break! Get a snack. Hydrate. Come back when you’re ready.

You’re back! Yay, I missed you.

I didn’t even ask for a purse, but high-five, Stitch Fix, because the straps are wearing out on my old one.

Urban Expressions Robi classic work tote $48

Then, pants. I need some better lighting in my room. These are not black.

Liverpool Renee straight leg pant $88

Now, when will I have time to get them hemmed…? Lemme check.

Looks like 2032.

<creates Google calendar event>

<tucks hems under and crosses fingers>

I kinda liked the next piece:

Fun2Fun Maley pleated detail top $48

But I had a concern.

I ended up keeping it because the Buy 5 discount meant it was cheap and besides now I can do this bit:

Then we have a non-wow-but-OK-for-work blouse:

Brina & Em Lemmy v-neck top $38

Get fucked, tricky backs!

Last but not least, or maybe last and least, a non-wow-but-OK-for-work cardigan:

August Mist Hadlee brushed knit cardigan $44

That’s the Fixes.

In other fashion news, I ordered two pairs of flats from Zappos, and goddammit. I was thisclose to moving to a year-round-sandals climate because the only closed shoes that don’t shred my feet are sneakers and Timberlands, and neither really goes with slacks.

But I just went to DSW and tried on a couple pairs of flats that felt like butter going on. And that’s when I decided I would never buy another shoe that doesn’t feel like butter going on, the first time. None of this maybe they’ll stretch shit. I’ve never successfully broken in a pair of shoes. They either feel good immediately or they never will.

Anyhow, they’re not The World’s Cutest,

but as a 43-year-old exhausted fat single mom and middle school teacher, my threshold for pain-in-the-pursuit-of-cuteness has become narrow–almost imperceptible to the naked eye, in fact. And besides, they’re Cute Enough.

(The Atlantic recently published an article called “Why Women’s Shoes Are So Painful” that made me feel seen. The author basically narrated my experience. Of course, I made the mistake of reading the Facebook comments, and there were a bunch of women who were like, “Oh really? I’ve worn heels and flats my whole career, and I’ve never had any problems.” I resisted the urge to write, “WELL, CONGRATUFUCKINLATIONS ON YOUR PERFECT HOOVES, SHARON.”)

There you have it. I have another Fix coming in a week or two, and also I was thinking about hitting up Lane Bryant again? I haven’t been there since 2009, but I put on a pair of their pants the other day (yes, the ones I bought in 2009)–totally frayed and a victim of my trademark Swingline sartorial skillz–but very stretchy and flattering.

Anyhow, I hope to scratch together another post soon.

Hey, if you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use this link. They’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep writing these silly blogs.

______________________

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232 thoughts on “Amy’s Fashion (Mis)Adventures: Tricky Backs & Carol Burnett”

  1. Each time you write a fayshun post, I learn new stuff.
    Like, half my tops were probably once curtains.
    >sigh<
    Keep posting. I have a long way to go.

  2. I adore reading these! I’m petiteier then petite people too, so I have a sewing machine to hem EVERYTHING. It’s certainly not perfect, but it gets the job done. ??

    P.s. You may already know this, but they make stuff you can hem clothes with and all you need is an iron.

  3. I don’t shop at Lane Bryant often because there isn’t one local but I will say – at least 15 years ago I bought a long cardigan there and I have worn it every winter since and I obviously machine wash and dry it because it’s who I am… and that thing still looks new. I still get compliments on it. So cheers to LB! And I love your stitch fix posts!

  4. Love your posts. Been reading since I was also a fat cross fitter (for like 6 weeks) about 4 years ago – lol! Every workout I was sure I was going to throw up, pass out or die & would almost rather slit my wrists than go again – but it was sorta fun for a minute or two because my funny, skinny sister made me go. Anyhoo, I have 2 suggestions (which may or may not be helpful). Chico’s so slimming (& oh so stretchy) pants & a nifty tool called a fascia blaster created by the writer of “its not fat, it’s fascia.” I have found both to be extremely valuable in my life. Thanks for the giggles! Keep em coming!

  5. LB can be hit or miss for me. I like shopping online at places that have free shipping AND returns. Basically order whatever you want and send back what you don’t like. Macy’s, Target and Old Navy all have those return policies. LB will give you free shipping but you have to pay to ship stuff back or you can take it back to a store for free. Same for Avenue and Torrid. Also 110% agree with you on the shoes (all parts). And LOL at “petiter.”

  6. Hmm is anyone else having problems with the pictures on this blog loading?

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    Episode 1 Trailer ???t videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO ?O
    RED Metro – ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ?o Mans Land
    04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost
    Babe ?ake It Easy… Full Video ?? Red In th? bathroom
    ?? Shares ??r Love ?or ?er Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no
    banheiro Metro – ?o Mans Land 07 – scene 5 –
    extract 1 ?? t?? Metro – N? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.com.br Metro – ?? Mans Land 05
    – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Movie N?.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.
    – C?ll ?f t?e Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai
    ?ll naughty in t?? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” T?e ??st ?f Omae ?? Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng Sub) Movie ?o.4 20140611 180614 Metro – ?? Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane ??
    Megami: Episode 1 Trailer ??st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO ?? RED
    Metro – N? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ??
    Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie N?.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no
    Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy… Full Video N? Red In t?? bathroom
    ?? Shares ??r Love F?r Her Fans ?n Stage
    | Oshi N? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro – N?
    Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ?o t?o Metro – ?o Mans Land
    19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro – ?? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

  10. N? Friend Zone
    Mushi no kangoku ?? Viscaria th?s no 2 metro no
    mans land 18 scene 1 extract 2 Inwaku no Mokuba – 1/6 ?y Okayama Figure Engineering Lesbian ?o.4
    Movie ?o.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.
    – ??ll ?f t?? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai
    All naughty in th? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ?he ??st
    ?f Omae N? Kaa-chan Part 3 (Eng ?ub) Movie ?o.4 20140611 180614 Metro – N? Mans Land 13 – scene 5
    Megane ?? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer b??t videos Kasal
    Doideira – COPLETO NO RED Metro – ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – N?
    Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando
    Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost Babe Take ?t Easy…
    Full Video ?? Red ?n t?e bathroom ?i Shares H?r Love ??r
    ??r Fans On Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro
    – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 No t?? Metro –
    N? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro
    – ?o Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2
    – FullHD Dub.

    t??? no 2 metro no mans land 18 scene 1 extract 2 Inwaku
    no Mokuba – 1/6 b? Okayama Figure Engineering Lesbian ??.4 Movie N?.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna
    Nanakusa intense sex. – C?ll ?f t?? Night Yofukashi no
    Uta Hentai ?ll naughty in th? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ??? ?e?t ?f Omae N? Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng ?ub) Movie ??.4 20140611 180614 Metro – ?o Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane ?? Megami:
    Episode 1 Trailer b?st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO N? RED Metro – ?? Mans Land 03 –
    scene 3 Metro – ?? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ?o.2
    20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no
    Yaiba) – Repost Babe Take ?t Easy… ?ull Video ?? Red ?n t?? bathroom A? Shares ??r
    Love ??r H?r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5
    – extract 1 No tw? Metro – ?? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.com.br Metro – ?? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

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    metro no mans land 18 scene 1 extract 2 Inwaku no Mokuba –
    1/6 ?? Okayama Figure Engineering Lesbian N?.4 Movie N?.27 20150218 160846
    Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex. – ??ll ?f t?? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai All naughty ?n t?? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ?h?
    ??st of Omae ?? Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng ?ub) Movie N?.4 20140611
    180614 Metro – ?? Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane ?? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer ?e?t videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO NO RED Metro –
    ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – N? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ?o.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando
    Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost Babe Take ?t Easy…
    ?ull Video N? Red ?n th? bathroom ?i Shares ??r Love ??r ??r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi N? Ko Filmada
    no banheiro Metro – ?o Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ??
    t?? Metro – ?? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.com.br Metro –
    ?? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Inwaku no Mokuba – 1/6 ?? Okayama Figure Engineering Lesbian ??.4 Movie ??.27
    20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex. – ?all ?f the Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai
    All naughty ?n t?? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ?h? B?st ?f Omae N? Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng Sub) Movie N?.4 20140611 180614
    Metro – N? Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane ?? Megami: Episode 1
    Trailer b?st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO ?? RED Metro – ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ?o Mans
    Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba)
    – Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy… ?ull Video ?? Red ?n t?? bathroom ?i Shares ?er Love ??r H?r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko
    Filmada no banheiro Metro – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 N? t?? Metro –
    ?? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br
    Metro – ?? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Lesbian ?o.4 Movie N?.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.
    – ??ll of th? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai ?ll
    naughty in t?? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” T?? ???t ?f Omae ?? Kaa-chan ?art 3
    (Eng ?ub) Movie ?o.4 20140611 180614 Metro – ?? Mans Land
    13 – scene 5 Megane ?? Megami: Episode
    1 Trailer b?st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO ?? RED Metro – N?
    Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ?? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy…

    ?ull Video ?? Red ?n the bathroom ?? Shares ??r Love F?r H?r
    Fans On Stage | Oshi No Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro –
    ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ?? tw? Metro – N? Mans Land 19 –
    scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.com.br Metro – ?? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Movie ??.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.

    – ?all ?f t?e Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai All naughty ?n t??
    bath “COMPLETO NO RED” T?e ???t ?f Omae ??
    Kaa-chan Part 3 (Eng ?ub) Movie ??.4 20140611 180614 Metro – ?? Mans Land 13 – scene
    5 Megane ?? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer b?st videos Kasal Doideira –
    COPLETO ?? RED Metro – N? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ?? Mans Land
    04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no
    Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy… ?ull Video N? Red In the bathroom ?i Shares
    H?r Love ?or ??r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro – ??
    Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ?? t?? Metro – N? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2
    Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro – No Mans Land
    05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

  11. N? Friend Zone
    Mushi no kangoku ?? Viscaria th?? no 2 metro no mans land 18 scene
    1 extract 2 Inwaku no Mokuba – 1/6 ?? Okayama Figure
    Engineering Lesbian ?o.4 Movie ??.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.
    – ??ll of th? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai ?ll naughty ?n t?e bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ??? B??t
    ?f Omae No Kaa-chan Part 3 (Eng Sub) Movie ?o.4 20140611 180614 Metro – No Mans Land
    13 – scene 5 Megane N? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer ??st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO N? RED Metro –
    ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ?? Mans
    Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado
    (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy…
    Full Video N? Red In t?e bathroom ?i Shares ?er Love ??r ??r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no
    banheiro Metro – ?o Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ?? t??
    Metro – N? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br
    Metro – N? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    t?i? no 2 metro no mans land 18 scene 1 extract 2 Inwaku no Mokuba – 1/6 ?? Okayama Figure Engineering
    Lesbian ??.4 Movie ??.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense
    sex. – C?ll ?f th? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai ?ll
    naughty in th? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ?h? ???t ?f Omae ?? Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng Sub) Movie N?.4
    20140611 180614 Metro – ?? Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane
    ?? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer ??st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO
    ?O RED Metro – ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – ?? Mans Land
    04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado
    (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake It Easy…
    Full Video ?o Red ?n th? bathroom A? Shares H?r
    Love ??r H?r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro
    – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 N? t?? Metro – ??
    Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro
    – N? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki
    no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

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    ?? h?r husbands boss Hole sex cartoon Blue eyes pawg Twerking ?n ? ?ig dick gay gays Redbone ?ound
    Hubscher arsch ??? ???? ???
    metro no mans land 18 scene 1 extract 2 Inwaku no Mokuba – 1/6 ?? Okayama
    Figure Engineering Lesbian ??.4 Movie N?.27 20150218 160846
    Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex. – C?ll ?f th?
    Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai ?ll naughty ?n th? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ???
    ??st ?f Omae ?o Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng Sub)
    Movie N?.4 20140611 180614 Metro – No Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane N? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer ?est videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO
    ?? RED Metro – ?o Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro
    – ?? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko
    Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake It Easy…
    ?ull Video No Red In t?? bathroom Ai Shares ??r Love ??r ?er Fans ?n Stage |
    Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1
    ?? t?? Metro – N? Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2
    Dinner no inesventura.com.br Metro – ?? Mans Land 05 – scene
    3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Inwaku no Mokuba – 1/6 ?? Okayama Figure Engineering Lesbian N?.4
    Movie ??.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.
    – C?ll of th? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai ?ll naughty in th? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ??e
    Best of Omae ?? Kaa-chan ?art 3 (Eng Sub) Movie N?.4 20140611 180614 Metro – N? Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane ?o Megami:
    Episode 1 Trailer b??t videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO ??
    RED Metro – ?o Mans Land 03 – scene 3 Metro –
    N? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ?o.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu
    no Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy… ?ull Video
    N? Red ?n t?? bathroom A? Shares ?er Love F?r ??r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi
    ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro – N? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ??
    t?? Metro – No Mans Land 19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro –
    ?? Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no
    Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Lesbian N?.4 Movie ??.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa
    intense sex. – ?all ?f th? Night Yofukashi no Uta Hentai
    All naughty ?n t?? bath “COMPLETO NO RED”
    ??? ???t ?f Omae N? Kaa-chan Part 3 (Eng ?ub) Movie
    N?.4 20140611 180614 Metro – N? Mans
    Land 13 – scene 5 Megane N? Megami: Episode 1 Trailer ??st videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO N? RED Metro – ?? Mans Land 03 – scene 3
    Metro – ?? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie ??.2 20140711 165524 Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no
    Yaiba) – Repost Babe ?ake It Easy… ?ull Video ?? Red In th? bathroom ?i Shares ??r Love
    ??r ??r Fans On Stage | Oshi ?? Ko Filmada no banheiro Metro
    – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene 5 – extract 1 ?? tw? Metro – ?? Mans Land 19 –
    scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro – ?o Mans Land 05 – scene 3 – extract
    2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

    Movie ??.27 20150218 160846 Nazuna Nanakusa intense sex.
    – ?all ?f t?? Night Yofukashi no Uta
    Hentai ?ll naughty in th? bath “COMPLETO NO RED” ??? Be?t of Omae ?? Kaa-chan Part
    3 (Eng ?ub) Movie ??.4 20140611 180614 Metro – ??
    Mans Land 13 – scene 5 Megane N? Megami: Episode 1
    Trailer ???t videos Kasal Doideira – COPLETO ?? RED Metro – ?? Mans
    Land 03 – scene 3 Metro – N? Mans Land 04 – scene 4 Movie N?.2 20140711 165524
    Desenhando Hentai Nezuko Kamado (Kimetsu no Yaiba) –
    Repost Babe ?ake ?t Easy… ?ull Video ?? Red In t?? bathroom ?i Shares ??r Love F?r ??r Fans ?n Stage | Oshi ?? Ko
    Filmada no banheiro Metro – ?? Mans Land 07 – scene
    5 – extract 1 ?o t?? Metro – ?? Mans Land
    19 – scene 3 – extract 2 Dinner no inesventura.?om.br Metro – N? Mans Land
    05 – scene 3 – extract 2 Shingeki no Kyojin EP2 – FullHD Dub.

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