In my professional life, I’m graded on a rubric. Did you know that? There are six standards upon which teachers are evaluated, and for each we are deemed Developing, Proficient, Accomplished, or Distinguished.
A couple weeks ago, I was out with some friends, one of whom is also a teacher, and we got to talking about the rubric. For shits and giggles, I suggested we use it to rate ourselves in other aspects of our lives.
Honestly, I can’t remember much—we were a couple cocktails in—except that Meg rated herself Distinguished in both Being Alone and Handling Her Shit (a super-accurate self-assessment), but I’ve been thinking about it lately, and here’s my self-evaluation.
Developing
1. Dressing myself. I still don’t know what looks good, what to buy, or how to put it together. It takes a ton of emotional effort for me to dress up. All I want to wear is jeans, my Obama hoodie, and
But I’m getting better. I wore skinny jeans, for Christ’s sake.
2. Dating/being in a relationship. You know how everybody’s always like, “Gahd, another Taylor Swift break-up song?! When is she gonna realize that the only constant in all these situations is her?”?
Yeah, I realize it’s me. I do. I’ve done a lot of work and put myself out there, but clearly I need more practice/support/guidance.
To that end, two things:
(1) In a maneuver I’m calling Amy’s Last-Ditch Campaign to Get Inseminated by a Dude She’d Like to Chill with for Awhile/Maybe Forever (ALDCGIDSLCAMF, for short), I joined Match Fucking Dot Com. For one month. ONE MONTH, and end scene—I shall forever abandon my Sisyphean online dating endeavors.
And (2) to quote Homeland Security: If You See Something, Say Something™. Friends, you have to tell me when you see the metaphorical spinach in my teeth, OK? If there’s some invisible-to-myself road block I’m throwing up, let your girl know. For real.
Proficient
1. You know, as recently as a few months ago, I would’ve put cooking in the Developing category, but I’ve had some pretty consistent victories lately. ‘Member those carnitas? <licks chops>
Also, I marinated chicken. (Me, out on the town with friends: “You guys, I’m marinating chicken right now.” Friend: (pause) “Is it… is it in the fridge?” Hahaha. I couldn’t blame her for checking—I’ve made some questionable judgment calls in the past.)
I made Chinese chicken salad with it.
That sludgy business in the jelly jar? Homemade sesame-ginger motherfucking salad dressing. Booyah.
I mean, every once in a while, mistakes are made.
In hindsight, there were a number of points at which a different decision could have rendered a more desirable outcome.
But for the most part, I’m feeding myself yummy, healthy things, so I’m gonna go ahead and declare myself Proficient in the cooking department.
Hubris? Probably.
2. CrossFit. Listen, I’m never going to be competitive. That’s OK. But I’ve been lifting heavy objects for nearly three years, and I’ve got pretty skrong, y’all (265-lb deadlift last night—what what!). And my form on most things is solid. Coach Rich watched me doing snatches the other day, and he said, “God, you’re so good at that.” :)
3. Storytelling/hosting storytelling events. If you’ve seen me at the Monti, I think you’d agree I’m getting better and better.
Accomplished
1. Teaching. I’m a good teacher. I’m not an exceptional teacher. I don’t take work home with me, and I don’t blaze any pedagogical trails, but I try to do cool things with my students, and I work hard to improve my practice every year.
2. Fostering dogs/getting them adopted. Git yer dogs here at Amy’s House o’ Pit Bulls!
3. Blogging. I have a readership. It’s small but, based on a pie chart I only sort of understand, I believe very loyal. (Thanks, guys!)
Distinguished
1. Jackshit.
Except one thing that I won’t share here because this is a family show. ;)
**********
Now you go. Don’t be shy. This is not about judgment. It’s about personal growth.
You could easily move crossfit to accomplished and storytelling, teaching, fostering dogs to distinguished. And I think you give yourself too little credit for dating/relationship because you motherfucking put yourself out there and that is admirable and hard.
yes! i whole-heartedly concur
You are distinguished at blogging. It has nothing to do with readerships and pie charts. It has everything to do with putting yourself out there, foibles and all, in your incredibly wonderful Amy voice- vulnerable and honest and funny as hell- in a way that we can recognize ourselves and laugh with you while we sigh and say, Yeah, I know, me too…
right on!
love ya, love your posts, especially love your face
Developing:
Getting a life as a single person
Improv
Fitness (yeah Ashley and Bea at Crossfit Durham boot camp)
Proficient
Dating (based on recent events this may get moved to developing…we should get a drink at Geer Street and swap stories)…here’s my one piece of advice….take people at their word. When they say they don’t want to be exclusive, don’t hear them saying something else.
Piano…..I’ve played reasonably difficult Mendelsohn (sp?) and Mozart pieces at my last two workshops.
Accomplished
My job….I’m good at it. I just wish it were a calling/vocation
Distinguished
Also have to omit because this is a family show
You win the prize for being the first person to turn in your self-eval, Chip! The prize is, I haven’t decided what the prize is!
LOVE this post, Amy!
Hmmmm…
Ok, Developing:
Balance in my life. Oh sweet Jesus.
Like Chip, I am developing in my fitness! I used to be accomplished. And then…yah. So now I’m developing better fitness habits, and hopefully sooner rather than later I will be in the shape I felt best, which was about 5 years ago.
Proficient:
My job. I changed my career focus a few years ago, and last year landed a great gig doing something new in a field I have a passion for. I’m good, but I do know enough to know there’s so much more to learn in order to be distinguished.
Asking for help.
A social life that is healthy although maybe not robust. But that’s fine. Less drama.
Accomplished:
My previous career. What I did took a lotta guts, and I accomplished a lot. I left it knowing I was proud of what I’d done, and not frustrated.
Seeing the humor in things. I have practiced this with gusto.
Distinguished:
In order to keep this list positive, I shall stop now.
You are distinguished at the only measure worth a damn – people whose opinions matter love you and miss you when you’re gone. All other rubrics are navel-gazing…
Oh, and one other area of distinction. nice ass-edness. You are highly proficient at that…
So the only two things that matter, is what I’m saying.
developing:
being social by choice
not worrying so much / letting things go
proficient:
general fitness
accomplished:
cooking/baking
being a sister/niece/aunt/daughter
squats!
distinguished:
being alone (but definitely not ‘handling my shit’, haha)
fun post, amy. i think you could add a few to distinguished, like being the best sister/daughter/aunt, and being a great host…
Loved this post ! I want to share it!!!
Please! Share! Lots of people say they like my blog, but nobody ever shares my stuff. I would love it.