Day: November 5, 2012

Cooking for Dumbs: How to Make Lunch

Today you’ll learn how to make All Your Lunches for the Week on Sunday morning.

Step 1: Go to Whole Foods and buy

one of these guys.

Eighteen bucks, and it comes with

health.

Step 2: In a Pyrex dish with a lid, place

one piece of London broil,
some green beans,
and some potatoes.

Cover with lid.

Step 4: Repeat until all ingredients are distributed. As you do,

check out how bad your dogs want some of that beef
but they pretend they’re not about to take you out at the knees for it when you give them a stern look.

Step 3: Divide the health

into containers, using the same method above.

Note: Don’t dress the health. Even the morning of, because

health doesn’t hold up well under vinaigrette.
Voila! You cooked!

Step 4: For Friday’s lunch, you’ll just have to improvise since, while you were cooking, you got hungry from all the lesbian dancing the previous night and ate one of the portions for breakfast.