Steal the Sun from the Sky for You* (and Make a Dress Out of It)

I promised you my 8th grade prom dress for the Embarrassing Photo of the Week, and I like to keep my promises. Pretty much every girl at the dance wore some version of the dress that my best friend (also pictured, because dates? — what even?) wore, but NOT ME. Because why would I wear something conservative to the prom at Cove Creek K-8 Elementary (graduating class size: 30), which sits ten miles outside of Boone, North Carolina?

No, this occasion called for another Amy Scott/McCall’s Couture design with Mama Scott at the bobbin. Notes:

• Once again, my mother did exactly what I asked of her.
• The three skirts(!) are made of a highly flammable fabric that is white with a gold lamé pattern;
• The bodice, spaghetti straps(!), edging of the three(!) skirts, and the side-pony-tail(!) holder are gold lamé(!);
• When I found those 3-inch heels(!!) also white with a gold lamé pattern(!!!!!) at Payless ShoeSource in Boone Mall, I nearly crapped myself from happiness;
• Again, the reason my legs make it look like I’m two half-people stitched together at the waist is because I spent Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:00 to 7:00 at the Dancer’s Corner — in that building that used to be Shadrack’s Barbeque, you know — doing tap and jazz, of course; and
• My bangs are curled, teased, and shellacked to a bullet-proof state.

And you get a special bonus Embarrassing Photo of the Week because that’s the kind of guy I am. I used the “Bulge” effect in Photo Booth to do a better version of the horrifying photo from the Monti.

Bonus #2 because I can’t stop!:

I will look for more prom photos next time I go to Boone. There are a couple real doozies I think you’re gonna like.

*Super-special prize for the first person who can identify the prom theme without Googling it. And by super-special prize, I mean I’ll be really proud of you.