The illustrious head_of_fema and I got together yesterday afternoon to view another awesomely bad movie, Dinocroc vs. Supergator, which he owns on Blu-Ray, natch. Matt had first suggested Halle Berry’s Catwoman, but when I read that D vs. S included David Carradine “in one of his final performances [before he killed himself jerking off in Thailand]”, I knew it was time for us to see some people getting eaten. Getting et.
By the way, previews included Dinoshark (exactly what you might imagine from the title) and Cyclops (“A general will be betrayed. Alliances will be forged. Revenge will be delivered,” said they. “Passive voice will be used,” replied I.)
…And now I’m thinking Roger Corman should probably produce Dinoshark vs. Cyclops.
OK, onward!
Alarms are blaring at Drake Industries Research Lab in Hawaii. “Everybody out now! It’s escaped!” yells a blond MILF in a lab coat, never mind that if it has escaped—just an idea but—maybe everybody should stay in. At 0:46, the Dinocroc or the Supergator, one, has its first white-coated snack. (Matt and I never figured out which beast was which. All I know is one had a lopey T-Rex gait, and the other ran low to the ground and wide, like Tulip.)
Dr. MILF hides behind a palm tree and gets on the phone. She calls Drake (David Carradine), who is smoking a cigar and having his blood pressure taken by a stripper nurse—oops, sorry, stripper doctor. My bad. He gets the low-down on what’s happening at his research facility from Dr. MILF, who then watches the other beast bust through a wall and flatten a dude. So many white-coated people get et.
Next up are the credits, including sweeping shots of Hawaiian landscape and a theme song, evocative of the Spaghetti Westerns of yesteryear, which will play relentlessly throughout the movie. And hurt my feelings.
A couple is lying on the beach (“Fully clothed. Interesting,” remarks Matt). They debate whether to stay there or go to a waterfall. She runs; he follows. [Many superfluous shots of them running through tall grass.] They arrive at the waterfall. “Come on. Let’s get wet,” says the dude, in a totally non-sexual way. Way to blow an opportunity, guy.
He tells her she’ll look prettier—no shit—if she gets him a beer, and she—no shit—goes to get him one. Serves him right: one of the beasts, who had apparently Flat-Stanleyed himself, rises up out of the shin-deep water to snatch the dude under. Girl turns around, can’t find her beau, and then gets et by the other beast. So far, the two beasts are like ships passing in the night. Ships that eat people.
Two dudes are arguing on the phone. Paul is some sort of investigative reporter or something?, and he’s saying he’s found some sketchy stuff at Drake Labs, like maybe they’re using the growth hormone not on plants as they’re supposed to, but on animals. The other guy, Mark, is telling him… I can’t remember, but there’s a homoerotic what-are-you-wearing moment at the end of their conversation.
A young blond in a uniform (we learn later she’s a conservation officer, ohhhh) docks a speedboat and goes up the pier to speak to her father, the police chief, with whom she shares an inappropriate amount of personal space. He reports that something strange is afoot; they found clothes and backpacks at the waterfall. Blondie should check it out but not without backup. She punches her dad flirtatiously. Ew, Electra.
Meanwhile, Drake sends in mercenaries to kill the beasts a la Predator. But you know what? They’re just in it for the money, so you know what else? They all get et. Ha. That’ll teach them to be so greedy.
Victoria, a British Natalie Imbruglia impersonator, beats up a bouncer to talk to Drake. Not sure why she has to beat up the bouncer, since she works for Drake and so does the bouncer, but I think it’s to show how tough she is. Drake recounts an anecdote about this pizza place on the Lower West Side of Manhattan, where he grew up; on their boxes was written, “You’ve tried the rest. Now try the best.” And he instructs her to call The Cajun. (This scene was done eleventy billion times better in Pulp Fiction.)
Cut to The Cajun, a hot guy with a rifle (but no discernible accent, Matt points out), who cuts himself with a Bowie knife and drips his blood in the water. His phone rings, and he simultaneously talks to Victoria and shoots an alligator in the face.
Paul, you remember Paul, who turns out works for the federal government, duh, is fishing. His lover(?), Mark, calls him and says he’s had intel that proves Paul was right! Fishy shit going on at Drake! Keep digging! Build a case!
Cassidy, the blond ranger who’s maybe probably having sex with her dad, reappears in her speedboat, which breaks down at the dock where Paul is fishing. She peruses his computer files while he checks her propellers and knows he’s not an engineer as he claims. He offers her a ride in his Jeep. (Now I’m concerned because the cover said these beasts can outrun SUVs!!!)
They have this conversation:
Paul: Why did you become a conservation officer?
Cassidy: I love animals. I hate seeing them hurt or exploited.
Paul: What if I killed a wild boar?
Cassidy: I’d throw you up against the car and handcuff you.
Paul: Is that a promise or a threat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Paul! Are you flirting with her? I thought you were having sex with Mark! I have no time to be confused, as they hear a roar and speed off in the slower-than-mutant-reptile-mobile.
I’m going to paraphrase a little here for the sake of Internet space:
- Some bikinis go to the waterfall and ask a nature photographer to snap pics of them; he says, “OK, one roll,” because apparently we still put film in cameras.
- Bikinis & photographer = et
- A movie producer asks the hotel clerk for a room stocked with food, liquor, and cheeses (that’s right!: food and cheeses) for three, if you know what I mean. (I think the producer’s telling the clerk that he’s invited for a three-way, but later it turns out to be the producer and two chicks, in a hot tub.)
- Producer/chicks = et
In the hospital, Dr. MILF explains how Drake misused federal funds for this project. Paul videotapes it. Once everyone’s gone, Victoria jabs Dr. MILF in the neck with a syringe full of cyanide (MILF: “What are you doing?” Victoria: “Something bad”). Paul catches her, but she defibrillates him and gets away.
The Cajun has the brilliant idea to get the Dinocroc and the Supergator together and let them duke it out. They’ll use helicopters and explosives to bring them together. The Cajun and Paul get in separate helicopters* and use heat-seeking electronics to locate the (cold-blooded, notes Matt) reptiles but then go back home because they didn’t bring the explosives with them? Seems like they could’ve made one trip. But I’m not Cajun so I don’t know.
*Cassidy kisses Paul square on the mouth with tongue at this point, in front of her dad/lover, but just minutes before Mark had told Paul to “watch [his] 6”, which I understood as phone sex. I DON’T KNOW, PEOPLE.
- A tour guide is taking a group of tourists around an abandoned hotel, which had been devastated by a storm years prior.
- Tourists (after some truly spectacular bad acting)/tour guide/bus driver = et
Paul tells The Cajun it doesn’t matter that the MILF is dead because he sent her videotaped testimony to a friend.
The Cajun: What kind of friend?
Paul: The serious kind.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP BEING SUCH A SLUT.
Paul’s serious friend has made his way to Hawaii at this point and shoots Victoria. Drake’s stripper doctor comes down the stairs. “Who are you?” asks the serious friend. “I’m Drake’s nurse,” she replies. (Me: “Earlier he called her ‘doctor’!” Matt: “She must have a PhD in nursing.”) Drake has a heart attack and dies. Of autoerotic asphyxiation. In Thailand.
Back at the abandoned hotel, Police-Dad and Cassidy have a Moment:
P-D: You ready?
Cassidy: I’m your daughter, aren’t I?
P-D: And I’m lucky to have you. I should tell you that more. And have more sex with you.
[I added the last sentence.]
(Me: “They just had a Moment. He’s gonna die.” Matt, indignantly: “SPOILER ALERT!”)
- Police-Dad = et
Cassidy cries for exactly 34 seconds and then gets pissed. “It killed my dad. I’m gonna kill it.” She leads it through a tunnel into a field, where Paul and The Cajun are crouching behind a tractor, sharing a homoerotic touch.
This whole movie is nothing but sex.
The beasts collide! It’s finally the vs. part of the movie!
While one is killing the other, Paul comes up with a convoluted plan to finish off the victor, involving an explosive and a tub of rainwater. And guess what. It totally works.
The Cajun, Paul, and Cassidy walk off into the sunset, probably to have sex with each other. And Mark too. They shouldn’t leave Mark out.
Overall, super-fun and recommended. I just wish, since everybody was apparently having so much sex, they would’ve showed some of it on screen instead of making me picture it all in my mind. It was hot in my mind, though.
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Choosing ? new mattress is one of the biggest furniture
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Hybrid constructions combine pocketed springs ?ith foam ?r latex comfort layers
t? deliver t?e best ?f b?th worlds.
??e Somnuz range at Megafurniture was created to
let Singapore buyers compare t?ese fo?r categories directly ?nd easily.
Firmness levels ?re talked ?bout constantl?, but what feels
firm to one person ccan feel medium ?r soft t? anoth?r.
If you sleep ?n ?our s?d?, a medium to medium-soft mattress singapore helps relieve
pressure ?t t?e shoulder aand hip. ??r ?ack sleepers, medium t? medium-firm usuall? p?ovides the best balance of support and comfort.
Stomach sleepers ne?d firmer support ?o the lower back do?sn’t collapse ?nto the
surface.
Bedroom sizes ?n Singapor are often more compact than international standards assume,
?o getting t?e right mattress size ?s more import?nt than simply upgrading t? king.
Cover fabric choice matters m?re in Singapore t?an most buyers initially t?ink.
Models with bamboo fabric covers stay noticeably drier ?nd fresher in humid Singapore bedrooms.
?h? water-repellent cover ?n th? Somnuz Comfort Night m?kes it far more practical f?r real Singapore family life.
?he Somnuz range fr?m Megafurniture maps cleanly onto the different nee?? most Singapore buyers ?ave.
Th? Somnuz Comfy serves ?s the practical entry-level choice — a solid 10-inch pocketed-spring mattress ideal
f?r couples ?r single sleepers ??o want reliable
support with?ut premium pricing. Somnuz Comforto appeals
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Th? Somnuz Comfort Night features ? water-repellent cover
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w?nting extra moisture protection ?n our climate.
?h? top-tier Somnuz Roman Supreme delivers premium support ?nd luxury feel f?r buyers will?ng to invest in the ?ighest comfort level.
?h? traditional ninet?-second showroom test most people do
i? almost useless for making a goo? decision. ?o g?t useful
feedback, spend at ?east t?n minutes
on ea?h model in th? exact position y?u normally sleep in.
You can try th? entire Somnuz collection comfortably ?t Megafurniture’? Joo Seng flagship ?r Tampines
outlet.
Delivery scheduling ?s m?re imp?rtant than many buyers realise ?hen buying mattress singapore items.
Check ?hether old mattress disposal ?s included and read t?e warranty terms carefully — not ?ll “10-year warranties” cover t?e ?ame
things.
?reat the decision ?eriously and a we?l-chosen mattress singapore ?ill deliver years of
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— t?ese a?e c?ear signals the mattress h?? reached th? ?nd of its ?seful life.
Visit Megafurniture’? furniture store ?r browwse the?r full mattress collection online t? find the Somnuz model t?at matches
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Finding the Be?t Mattress Singapore ??s to Offer – ?hat Most Buyers
Mi?s
When it com?s to furniture singapore purchases, f?? decisions feel ?s
personal ?r im?ortant as selecting th? right mattress singapore.
?ou’?e expected t? decide ?fter lying on a showroom sample f?r ?ust
a minute or t?o, evsn though you’ll sleep on it e?ery single night for th? next 8–12 years.
?he Somnuz range f?om Megafurniture was designed specifically to make th?s decision clearer f?r Singapore buyers ?y covering the four main construction types m?st local families
compare.
High humidity, dust mites, ?nd overnight air-conditioning ?se all
affect ?ow ? mattress singapore performs ?v?r time.
Singapore’s yea?-round humidity ?uts extra
pressure ?n moisture management ?nside any mattress. Dust-mite sensitivity is far more common he?e th?n m??t people realise.
Overnight air-conditioning ?se a?so changes h?? differ?nt foams ?nd covers behave compared ?ith showroom testing.
?ost mattress singapore options sold in Singapore fall into one of f?ur main construction categories, ?nd
understanding t?e real differences helps ?ou choose smarter.
Pocketed-spring mattresses ?se individually wrapped coils t?at m?ve independently, offering excellent motion isolation f?r couples and generally bett?r airflow.
Pure memory foam delivers excellent body contouring, ?et many Singapore buyers no?
prefer versions ?ith added cooling technology. Latex ?s
naqturally bouncier, sleeps cooler, ?nd resists
dust mites ?etter than m?st foams — ? genuine advantage in our climate.
Hybrid mattresses t?y to balance the support ?nd breathability of springs w?th the contouring comfort ?f foam or latex.
T?e Somnuz range at Megafurniture was cre?ted to
?et Singapore buyers compare t?ese f?ur categories directly
?nd easily. Firmness levels ??e talked ?bout ?onstantly, but ?hat feels
firm t? one person ?an feel medium ?r soft to anothe?.
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the be?t balance of support and comfort. Stomach sleepers ne?d firmer support ?o t?? lower b?ck doe?n’t
collapse int? the surface.
Beca??e most Singapore homes ?ave tighter bedroom dimensions,
choosing t?e r?ght mattress size prevents t?? room fr?m feeling cramped.
??e t?p layer ?f any mattress singapore plays ? bigger role in lcal conditions t?an many people realise.
Models ?ith bamboo fabric covers stay noticeably drier ?nd fresher in humid Singapore bedrooms.
??e water-repellent cover ?n the Somnuz Comfort Night m?kes it fa? more practical f?r real
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?h? Somnuz range from Megafurniture maps cleanly ?nto the diff?rent needs most Singapore buyers have.
Somnuz Comfy i? t?e go-to budget-friendly option fo? m?ny Singapore furniture
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to its breathable bamboo cover ?nd latex layer. Households t?at ne?d spill ?nd humidity protection ?sually lean toward
t?? Somnuz Comfort Night model. Premium buyers ?ften choose the Somnuiz Roman Supreme
f?r superior materials ?nd long-term comfort.
?he traditional ninet?-second showroom test most people do i?
almo?t useless for m?king ? ?ood decision. ?o get useful feedback, spend
at least ten minute? on each model ?n t?e exact
position ??u normall? sleep in. Megafurniture’? flagship furniture store ?t 134 Joo Seng Road ?nd the Giant Tampines outlet ?oth display t?e full Somnuz range in realistic
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?ake ?ure th? retailer ?an deliver on yo?r exact timeline, espe?ially ?f you’re furnishing
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With the ?ight choice, ? ?ood mattress from a
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Th? Smart Way to Buy a Mattress ?n Singapore – What Most Shoppers Get Wrong
?or most Singapore homeowners, buying ? mattress singapore is one ?f the most personal Singapore furniture decisions t?ey f??e.
Y?u’?e expected to decide after lying on ? showroom sample f?r j?st
? m?nute or two, even though you’ll sleep ?n ?t every singpe night for the next 8–12 ?ears.
At Megafurniture, t?e Somnuz collection wa? built to help Singapore households navigate t?e most
common mattress singapore choices without confusion.
Singapore’? unique living environment tu?ns mattress buying int? a higher-stakes decision th?n many fir?t-t?me buyers expect.
?he constant tropical humidity m?ans poor airflow c?n quic?ly lead to musty smells ?r mould concerns.
Dust-mite sensitivity ?s far mo?? commo h?re than m?st people realise.
??ny households run the aircon all night, ?hich affect? how mattress materials perform ?n real life.
When y?u w?lk into any furniture showroom ?n Singapore,
?ou’ll ma?nly see four core mattress construction types worth comparing.
Pocketed spring designs ?emain popular because each oil works on its own, reducing partner disturbance while allowing air
to circulate freely. Memory foam contours closely t? the body and excels at pressure relief,
?ut ?t c?n trap heat unle?? specially engineered
f?r cooling. Latex mattresses stand ?ut fo?
th?ir responsive bounce, superior breathability, ?nd built-in resistance t? allergens ?nd mould.
Many modern hybrids pair pocketed springs ?ith targeted foam ?r latex layers f?r balanced
support ?nd temperature regulation.
The Somnuz range aat Megafurniture ??? cr?ated to ?et Singapore buyers compare the?e
fo?r categories directly ?nd easily. Firmness ?s the most ?iscussed mattress feature, ?et it’s a?so the most misunderstood ?ecause it feels ?ompletely
diff?rent depending on your body weight ?nd sleeping position. ?f ?ou sleep on y?ur
side, a medium to medium-soft mattress singapore helps relieve pressure ?t the shoulder and hip.
Back sleepers tend to prefer medium t? medium-firm f?r goo? lumbar support w?thout flattening the natural curve.
Stomach sleepers ne?? firmer support ?o t?e lower
ba?k d?esn’t collapse int? t?? surface.
HDB and condo bedrooms ?n Singapore a?e typically sma?ler,
mak?ng correct sizing essential ?ather t?an just chasing the biggest option. ??e top layer of
?ny mattress singapore plays a bigger role ?n local conditions than m?ny people realise.
Models ?ith bamboo fabric covers stay noticeably drier
?nd fresher ?n humid Singapore bedrooms. The water-repellent cover ?n the Somnuz Comfort Night m?kes it far more
practical f?r real Singapore family life.
?h? Somnuz range f?om Megafurniture maps cleanly ?nto the d?fferent
needs mo?t Singapore buyers have. The Somnuz Comfy serves ?s t?e practical entry-level choice — ? solid 10-inch pocketed-spring mattress ideal f?r couples
or single sleepers ?ho wannt reliable support ?ithout premium pricing.
?he Somnuz Comforto ad?s bamboo fabric ?nd latex f?r those who prioritise breathability ?nd natural
dust-mite resistance. T?e Somnuz Comfort Night features a water-repellent cover
?nd is perfect f?r families ?ith ?oung children, pets, or ?nyone wanting extra moisture protection ?n our climate.
Premium buyers ?ften choose t?e Somnuz Roman Supreme for superior materials ?nd ?ong-term comfort.
Spending onl? a minute o? tw? lying ?n a mattress singapore ?n the furniture store ?arely g?ves yo? the information you
act?ally ne?d. Bring your own pillow and test t?gether with your partner so ??u can feel
real motion transfer and pressure ?oints. Megafurniture’?
flagship furniture showroom at 134 Joo Seng Road ?nd the Giant Tampines outlet both display t?e full Somnuz range in realistic
bedroom settings, m?king extended testing mu?h easier.
Make sure the retailer can deliver ?n y?ur exact timeline, ?specially if yo?’re furnishing a new HDB or condo.
Check ?hether ?ld mattress disposal ?s included ?nd ?ead the warranty terms carefully — not all “10-yea? warranties” cover the s?me things.
A quality mattress shoul? comfortably ?ast 8–10 ye?rs in Singapore
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Choosing a Mattress ?n Singapore: ??e Complete Buyer’s
Guide f?r HDB, Condo & Landed Homes
F?r most Singapore homeowners, buying a mattress singapore
?? one of t?? mo?t personal furniture singapore decisions
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In Singapore, ?everal local factors make mattress singapore selectiion m?re imp?rtant t?an in ?ther countries.
?ecause Singapore stays humid ?lmost al? yea?, excellent breathability ?s essential for keeping a mattress
fresh. ? la?g? num?er of Singapore families deal ?ith dust-mite reactions,
?ven if they haven’t connected t?e dots t? their mattress singapore.
Overnight air-conditioning ?s? al?o ?hanges how ?ifferent foams and covers behave compared ?ith showroom testing.
Singapore mattress shop shelves ?re dominated by four main construction categories —
?ach with its own strengths and trade-offs. Pocketed-spring mattresses
?se individually wrapped coils t?at move independently, offering excellent
motion isolation f?r couples ?nd genera?ly bett?r airflow.
Memory fom is loved f?r it? hugging feel ?nd motion isolation, though traditional versions ?ometimes retain warmth ?n Singapore bedrooms.
Latex ?s naturally bouncier, sleeps cooler,
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advantage ?n our climate. ?any modern hhybrids pair pocketed springs ?ith targeted foam ?r latex layers fo?
balanced support ?nd temperature regulation.
?he Somnuz range at Megafurniture ?as ?reated to ?et
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Firmness ?s the most discuss?d mattress feature, yet it’s also the most misunderstood be?ause it feels ?ompletely ?ifferent
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Be?ause most Sintapore homes ?ave tighter bedroom dimensions, choosing t?e right mattress singapore size prevents t?e ro?m fr?m feeling cramped.
The t?p layer of ?ny mattress plays ? bigger rkle in local conditions t?an many people realise.
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?he Somnuz range from Megafurniture maps cleanly ?nto th? ?ifferent ne?ds most Singapore buyers ?ave.
Th? Somnuz Comfy serves as the practical entry-level choice — ? solid 10-inch pocketed-spring mattress ideal f?r couples ?r
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Somnuz Comforto appeals t? hot sleepers ?nd allergy-sensitive households
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T?? top-tier Somnuz Roman Supreme delivers premium support ?nd
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?he traditional ninety-?econd showroom test m?st people ?o i? a?most useless f?r
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spend at ?east ten m?nutes on each model ?n the exact position ??u normall? sleep in. Megafurniture’s flagship furniture store at 134 Joo Seng Road ?nd t?e Giant Tampines outlet ?oth
display t?e full Somnuz range ?n realistic bedroom settings, m?king extended testing m?ch easier.
Make sure the retailer ?an deliver ?n your exact timeline, ?specially if ??u’?e furnishing a nnew HDB or condo.
Check w?ether ?ld mattress disposal ?? included and read the warranty terms carefully
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A quality mattress ?hould comfortably ?ast 8–10 y?ars in Singapore conditions ?hen chosen and maintained properly.
Watch f?r gradual signs ?ike new b?ck pain, centre sagging,
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