The illustrious head_of_fema and I got together yesterday afternoon to view another awesomely bad movie, Dinocroc vs. Supergator, which he owns on Blu-Ray, natch. Matt had first suggested Halle Berry’s Catwoman, but when I read that D vs. S included David Carradine “in one of his final performances [before he killed himself jerking off in Thailand]”, I knew it was time for us to see some people getting eaten. Getting et.
By the way, previews included Dinoshark (exactly what you might imagine from the title) and Cyclops (“A general will be betrayed. Alliances will be forged. Revenge will be delivered,” said they. “Passive voice will be used,” replied I.)
…And now I’m thinking Roger Corman should probably produce Dinoshark vs. Cyclops.
OK, onward!
Alarms are blaring at Drake Industries Research Lab in Hawaii. “Everybody out now! It’s escaped!” yells a blond MILF in a lab coat, never mind that if it has escaped—just an idea but—maybe everybody should stay in. At 0:46, the Dinocroc or the Supergator, one, has its first white-coated snack. (Matt and I never figured out which beast was which. All I know is one had a lopey T-Rex gait, and the other ran low to the ground and wide, like Tulip.)
Dr. MILF hides behind a palm tree and gets on the phone. She calls Drake (David Carradine), who is smoking a cigar and having his blood pressure taken by a stripper nurse—oops, sorry, stripper doctor. My bad. He gets the low-down on what’s happening at his research facility from Dr. MILF, who then watches the other beast bust through a wall and flatten a dude. So many white-coated people get et.
Next up are the credits, including sweeping shots of Hawaiian landscape and a theme song, evocative of the Spaghetti Westerns of yesteryear, which will play relentlessly throughout the movie. And hurt my feelings.
A couple is lying on the beach (“Fully clothed. Interesting,” remarks Matt). They debate whether to stay there or go to a waterfall. She runs; he follows. [Many superfluous shots of them running through tall grass.] They arrive at the waterfall. “Come on. Let’s get wet,” says the dude, in a totally non-sexual way. Way to blow an opportunity, guy.
He tells her she’ll look prettier—no shit—if she gets him a beer, and she—no shit—goes to get him one. Serves him right: one of the beasts, who had apparently Flat-Stanleyed himself, rises up out of the shin-deep water to snatch the dude under. Girl turns around, can’t find her beau, and then gets et by the other beast. So far, the two beasts are like ships passing in the night. Ships that eat people.
Two dudes are arguing on the phone. Paul is some sort of investigative reporter or something?, and he’s saying he’s found some sketchy stuff at Drake Labs, like maybe they’re using the growth hormone not on plants as they’re supposed to, but on animals. The other guy, Mark, is telling him… I can’t remember, but there’s a homoerotic what-are-you-wearing moment at the end of their conversation.
A young blond in a uniform (we learn later she’s a conservation officer, ohhhh) docks a speedboat and goes up the pier to speak to her father, the police chief, with whom she shares an inappropriate amount of personal space. He reports that something strange is afoot; they found clothes and backpacks at the waterfall. Blondie should check it out but not without backup. She punches her dad flirtatiously. Ew, Electra.
Meanwhile, Drake sends in mercenaries to kill the beasts a la Predator. But you know what? They’re just in it for the money, so you know what else? They all get et. Ha. That’ll teach them to be so greedy.
Victoria, a British Natalie Imbruglia impersonator, beats up a bouncer to talk to Drake. Not sure why she has to beat up the bouncer, since she works for Drake and so does the bouncer, but I think it’s to show how tough she is. Drake recounts an anecdote about this pizza place on the Lower West Side of Manhattan, where he grew up; on their boxes was written, “You’ve tried the rest. Now try the best.” And he instructs her to call The Cajun. (This scene was done eleventy billion times better in Pulp Fiction.)
Cut to The Cajun, a hot guy with a rifle (but no discernible accent, Matt points out), who cuts himself with a Bowie knife and drips his blood in the water. His phone rings, and he simultaneously talks to Victoria and shoots an alligator in the face.
Paul, you remember Paul, who turns out works for the federal government, duh, is fishing. His lover(?), Mark, calls him and says he’s had intel that proves Paul was right! Fishy shit going on at Drake! Keep digging! Build a case!
Cassidy, the blond ranger who’s maybe probably having sex with her dad, reappears in her speedboat, which breaks down at the dock where Paul is fishing. She peruses his computer files while he checks her propellers and knows he’s not an engineer as he claims. He offers her a ride in his Jeep. (Now I’m concerned because the cover said these beasts can outrun SUVs!!!)
They have this conversation:
Paul: Why did you become a conservation officer?
Cassidy: I love animals. I hate seeing them hurt or exploited.
Paul: What if I killed a wild boar?
Cassidy: I’d throw you up against the car and handcuff you.
Paul: Is that a promise or a threat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Paul! Are you flirting with her? I thought you were having sex with Mark! I have no time to be confused, as they hear a roar and speed off in the slower-than-mutant-reptile-mobile.
I’m going to paraphrase a little here for the sake of Internet space:
- Some bikinis go to the waterfall and ask a nature photographer to snap pics of them; he says, “OK, one roll,” because apparently we still put film in cameras.
- Bikinis & photographer = et
- A movie producer asks the hotel clerk for a room stocked with food, liquor, and cheeses (that’s right!: food and cheeses) for three, if you know what I mean. (I think the producer’s telling the clerk that he’s invited for a three-way, but later it turns out to be the producer and two chicks, in a hot tub.)
- Producer/chicks = et
In the hospital, Dr. MILF explains how Drake misused federal funds for this project. Paul videotapes it. Once everyone’s gone, Victoria jabs Dr. MILF in the neck with a syringe full of cyanide (MILF: “What are you doing?” Victoria: “Something bad”). Paul catches her, but she defibrillates him and gets away.
The Cajun has the brilliant idea to get the Dinocroc and the Supergator together and let them duke it out. They’ll use helicopters and explosives to bring them together. The Cajun and Paul get in separate helicopters* and use heat-seeking electronics to locate the (cold-blooded, notes Matt) reptiles but then go back home because they didn’t bring the explosives with them? Seems like they could’ve made one trip. But I’m not Cajun so I don’t know.
*Cassidy kisses Paul square on the mouth with tongue at this point, in front of her dad/lover, but just minutes before Mark had told Paul to “watch [his] 6”, which I understood as phone sex. I DON’T KNOW, PEOPLE.
- A tour guide is taking a group of tourists around an abandoned hotel, which had been devastated by a storm years prior.
- Tourists (after some truly spectacular bad acting)/tour guide/bus driver = et
Paul tells The Cajun it doesn’t matter that the MILF is dead because he sent her videotaped testimony to a friend.
The Cajun: What kind of friend?
Paul: The serious kind.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP BEING SUCH A SLUT.
Paul’s serious friend has made his way to Hawaii at this point and shoots Victoria. Drake’s stripper doctor comes down the stairs. “Who are you?” asks the serious friend. “I’m Drake’s nurse,” she replies. (Me: “Earlier he called her ‘doctor’!” Matt: “She must have a PhD in nursing.”) Drake has a heart attack and dies. Of autoerotic asphyxiation. In Thailand.
Back at the abandoned hotel, Police-Dad and Cassidy have a Moment:
P-D: You ready?
Cassidy: I’m your daughter, aren’t I?
P-D: And I’m lucky to have you. I should tell you that more. And have more sex with you.
[I added the last sentence.]
(Me: “They just had a Moment. He’s gonna die.” Matt, indignantly: “SPOILER ALERT!”)
- Police-Dad = et
Cassidy cries for exactly 34 seconds and then gets pissed. “It killed my dad. I’m gonna kill it.” She leads it through a tunnel into a field, where Paul and The Cajun are crouching behind a tractor, sharing a homoerotic touch.
This whole movie is nothing but sex.
The beasts collide! It’s finally the vs. part of the movie!
While one is killing the other, Paul comes up with a convoluted plan to finish off the victor, involving an explosive and a tub of rainwater. And guess what. It totally works.
The Cajun, Paul, and Cassidy walk off into the sunset, probably to have sex with each other. And Mark too. They shouldn’t leave Mark out.
Overall, super-fun and recommended. I just wish, since everybody was apparently having so much sex, they would’ve showed some of it on screen instead of making me picture it all in my mind. It was hot in my mind, though.
BL555 ???c bi?t ??n là m?t trong nh?ng
n?n t?ng gi?i trí tr?c tuy?n có ?? uy
tín cao trên th? tr??ng hi?n nay, cung c?p h?
th?ng trò ch?i phong phú, giao di?n hi?n ??i
và t?c ?? x? lý nhanh chóng. V?i
ph??ng châm t?o ra môi tr??ng gi?i trí minh
b?ch, an toàn và ti?n l?i, BL555 luôn chú
tr?ng ??u t? công ngh?, h? th?ng b?o m?t nhi?u l?p nh?m b?o
v? thông tin ng??i dùng t?i ?a. https://wgs.uk.com/
Howdy, I do believe your site might be having web
browser compatibility problems. Whenever I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening
in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick
heads up! Other than that, fantastic blog!
Thanks for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts
and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.
With the looming PSLE, initiating math tuition ?arly pr?vides Primary 1 to Primary
6students ?ith s?lf-assurance and proven methods t?
excel in major school examinations.
?iven Singapore’s strong focus ?n rigorous tertiary admissions, strong ?-Level math ?esults
— often reinforced t?rough tuition — unlocks access t? premier junior colleges, t?p polytechnic courses, and competitive university programmes.
JC math tuition delivers t?e structured support ?nd targeted drilling required t?
succ?ssfully bridge the substantial increase in complexity from ?-Level Additional Math t? the proof-heavy H2 Mathematics syllabus.
?n a city ?ith packed schedules ?nd heavy traffic,
remote tuition f?r O-Levels enables secondary learners t? enjoy on-demand practice ?t ?ny convenient time, dramatically
improving t?eir ability t? efficiently handle timed exam scenarios.
?h? upcoming brand-new physical ?oom at OMT promises immersive
math experiences, sparking ?ong-lasting love for t?e subject ?nd motivation for test accomplishments.
Transform math obstacles ?nto triumphs ?ith OMT Math Tuition’? mix of online ?nd ?n-site choices, ?acked by a performance history of student excellence.
Singapore’? emphasis on crucial analyzing
mathematics highlights t?e val?? ?f math tuition, w?i?h assists students
develop t?e analytical abilities required
?y the country’s forward-thinking syllabus.
Tuition programs f?r primary math concentrate ?n error analysis from p?st PSLE papers, teaching
students t? av?i? recurring mistakes in estimations.
Secondary school math tuition ?? vital f?r O Levels as it reinforces
proficiency ?f algebraic adjustment, a core
component that regularly appears ?n test concerns.
Customized junior college tuition aids connect thhe space f?om O
Level to ? Level mathematics, m?king s?re trainees adapt t? the
enhanced rigor and depth calle? for.
OMT’? custom-m?de program distinctively supports t?? MOE curriculum
b? stressing mistake evaluation ?nd improvement app?oaches to decrease miostakes ?n analyses.
OMT’? ?n t?e internet math tuition ?ets ?ou revise at
yo?r v?ry o?n pace lah, ?o sa? ?oodbye to rushing and ?o?r math grades wi?l c?rtainly
soar continuously.
?ith international competition rising, math tuition placements Singapore students ?s leading performers ?n global mathematics assessments.
?lso visit my p?g? singapore online tuition
Very good article! We will be linking to this particularly
great content on our site. Keep up the good writing.
Howdy! This blog post could not be written much better!
Going through this post reminds me of my previous
roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I most certainly will forward this article
to him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a good read.
I appreciate you for sharing!
Unlike ?arge classroom settings, primary math tuition ?ffers personalized attention t?at ?llows children t? address questions
f?st and f?lly grasp difficult topics ?t their own comfortable pace.
Regular secondary math tuition equips students t? surmount recurring difficulties — ?uch
?s exam t?me management, grqph analysis, and multi-step logical reasoning.
?n ?ddition to examination ?esults, hi?h-quality JC math tuition builds enduring analytical stamina, strengthens sophisticated analytical ability, ?nd equips learners ful?y for the rational demands of university-level study ?n STEM and quantitative
disciplines.
?he growing popularity ?f digital JC-level math lessons
?n Singapore ?as mad? expert-level teaching accessible ?ven t? JC students managing
packed school schedules, ?ith recorded sessions enabling efficient, stress-free revision ?f both pure and statistics components.
OMT’? interactive tests gamify learning, m?king mathematics addictive
f?r Singapore pupils ?nd inspiring t?em to promote outstanding examination grades.
Dive int? self-paced mathematics proficiency ?ith OMT’s 12-mont? e-learning courses,
?omplete wit? practice worksheets ?nd recorded sessions f?r comprehensive modification.
?onsidered t?at mathematics plays ?n essential function in Singapore’s economic development ?nd development, buying specialized math tuition equips students ?ith the problem-solving skills needed t? grow
in a competitive landscape.
Tuition programs f?r primary math concentrate ?n error analysis f?om p?evious PSLE papers, teaching students t? ?void repeating mistakes ?n calculations.
Customized math tuition ?n secondary school
addresses specific learning gaps ?n subjects l?ke calculus and data, preventing th?m from
hindering O Level success.
Tuition instructs mistake evaluation methods, aiding junior university student ?void usual risks ?n A Level
estimations ?nd proofs.
What distinguishes OMT ?? its exclusive program t?at enhances MOE’s with focus on moral analytical
in mathematical contexts.
Personalized progression monitoring ?n OMT’s s?stem reveals y?ur weak p?ints sia, allowing targeted method for grade
improvement.
Math tuition ?ses targeted experiment pr?vious examination papers, acquainting trainees ?ith inquiry patterns ?een in Singapore’s
national assessments.
?lso visit m? blog post; h2 jc math tuition online
Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you might be
a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will often come back later in life.
I want to encourage yourself to continue your great
writing, have a nice weekend!
Thanks for finally writing about > Dinocroc vs. Supergator < Liked it!
Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice whilst you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a weblog
site? The account aided me a appropriate deal. I had been tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast offered
bright transparent idea
Hello to every one, because I am in fact keen of reading this weblog’s
post to be updated on a regular basis. It includes good data.
naturally like your web site however you have to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very troublesome to tell the truth however I’ll
definitely come again again.
Hey there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before
but after browsing through some of the post I realized
it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back frequently!
%spintax|??????|?????|????%?%spintax|???|???|???|???% %spintax|?????|????|???%???%spintax|?????|??????|????????%?%spintax|?????|???|????????%???%spintax|??|????|???%?????%spintax|??????|????????????%?
We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
Your web site provided us with valuable info to
work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will be thankful to you.
Awesome! Its in fact remarkable piece of
writing, I have got much clear idea concerning from this paragraph.
Your mode of describing the whole thing in this piece of writing is actually
fastidious, every one be capable of effortlessly understand it, Thanks
a lot.
I have read so many posts about the blogger lovers except this
article is truly a fastidious paragraph, keep it up.
live online casino
References:
meetmyholiders.com
My partner and I stumbled over here different web page and thought I
may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.
Look forward to finding out about your web page repeatedly.
Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve visited this site before but after looking at a few
of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m certainly happy I came across
it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back regularly!
Every weekend i used to visit this website, as i want enjoyment,
since this this web page conations really fastidious funny information too.
I love what you guys are up too. This type of clever work
and coverage! Keep up the very good works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll.
Hello, I enjoy reading all of your article.
I wanted to write a little comment to support you.
Yes! Finally something about bokep.
Good post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon everyday.
It’s always interesting to read through content from other authors and use a little something from their web sites.
References:
Genting casino newcastle
References:
http://www.elsieisy.com
hey there and thank you for your info – I’ve definitely picked up anything new
from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues using this web site, as I experienced to
reload the site a lot of times previous to I could
get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK?
Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if
ads and marketing with Adwords. Well I’m adding this RSS to my
email and could look out for much more of your respective interesting content.
Ensure that you update this again very soon.
F95Zone is a popular online forum and community platform where users gather to discuss games, software, technology, and digital entertainment.
The site is widely known for its active gaming community
where members share updates about indie games, visual novels, mods,
and new releases. Users can explore different sections of the forum to find
game reviews, walkthroughs, development discussions, and recommendations from other members.
Wonderful blog you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any message boards that cover the same
topics talked about here? I’d really love to be a part of community where I can get comments
from other experienced individuals that share the same interest.
If you have any recommendations, please let
me know. Kudos!
I discovered your blog site on google and check a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading more from you later on!…
Hey there this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know
if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience.
Any help would be enormously appreciated!
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article.
I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info.
Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.
What’s up, the whole thing is going well here and ofcourse every one
is sharing facts, that’s truly good, keep up writing.
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to far added agreeable from you!
By the way, how can we communicate?
Hola! I’ve been reading your weblog for some time now and finally got
the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from
Lubbock Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the great job!
Good day! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d
figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe
guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My site goes over a lot of the
same topics as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from
each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot me an email.
I look forward to hearing from you! Excellent blog by
the way!
Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog.
Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I
can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips
or suggestions? With thanks
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before
but after going through some of the articles I realized
it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely delighted I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back regularly!
In a society wh?re academic performance heavily determines future opportunities, m?ny Singapore families se? early primary math tuition ?? ? prudent ?ong-term decision f?r sustained success.
Mo?e than mer?ly raising marks, secondary math tuition cultivates emotional resilience
?nd effectively minimises exam-?elated stress during ?ne of th? most pressurised stages of a teenager’? academic
journey.
Math tuitioon ?t junior college leveel ?rovides tailored assessment ?nd precision-focused techniques t??t ?arge lecture-style JC classes seldom provide adequately.
Junior college students preparing f?r A-Levels f?nd remote H2 Mathematics coaching
invaluable ?n Singapore ?ecause it delivers precision-targeted
guidance ?n advanced ?2 topics ?uch ?s vectors ?nd complex numb?rs, helping
them secure distinction grades t?at unlock admission t? prestigioous university programmes.
Interdisciplinary ?inks in OMT’s lessons show math’? convenience, triggering
inquisitiveness ?nd inspiration for examination accomplishments.
Join ?ur ?mall-grou? on-site classes in Singapore for
customized assistance ?n a nurturing environment t??t develops strong foundational mathematics skills.
?n a s?stem whe?e math education ?a? developed to promote development ?nd worldwide competitiveness, enrolling ?n math tuition mak?s sure trainees rema?n ahead by deepening t?eir understanding ?nd application of
key ideas.
Math tuition ?n primary school bridges spaces ?n classroom knowing, making
sure trainees grasp complex subjects sucxh ?s geometry ?nd information analysis ?efore th? PSLE.
Holistic development ?ith math tuition not just enhances ? Level scores but l?kewise gro?s rational thinking abilities valuable f?r ?ong-lasting knowing.
Eventually, junior college math tuition ?s crucial
to safeguarding t?p A Level re?ults, op?ning doors to prestigious scholarships ?nd hig?er education opportunities.
OMT sets ?pa?t ?ith an exclusive curriculum t?at sustains
MOE ?ontent ?sing multimedia combinations, ?uch as video descriptions of key theorems.
Range ?f practice questions si?, preparing y?u c?mpletely for
any math test and b?tter ratings.
Tuition teachers ?n Singapore often hav? insider understanding
of examination patterns, assisting pupils t?
concentrate ?n high-yield topics.
?ere i? my pa?e; a math tuition
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my weblog so
i came to return the choose?.I am trying to to find
things to improve my website!I suppose its good enough to use a few of your concepts!!
Hello every one, here every person is sharing such
knowledge, so it’s good to read this webpage, and I used
to pay a quick visit this webpage daily.
Interesting article. DoctiPlus looks like a promising solution for people who want reliable health guidance in one place.
Digital healthcare platforms are definitely shaping the future of
patient care.
Excellent post. I will be going through some of these issues as well..
Keep on working, great job!
Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.
This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your
fantastic post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!
The Ultimate VIP Treatment: dubai escort https://ssjcompanyinc.official.jp/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=8183999
What’s up i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere, when i read this paragraph
i thought i could also make comment due to this brilliant piece of writing.