A month back I went to see Louis C.K.—one of the funniest people alive—at DPAC with my friend Jonathan. Jonathan mentioned Louie’s appearance on a podcast called WTF with Marc Maron, and I’ve been downloading that program ever since. I haven’t yet heard the Louie episode because it’s in the Premium Content section and costs TWO WHOLE DOLLARS, but the most recent episode I listened to was Maron’s interview with Aubrey Plaza. She’s an actor/comedian currently on Parks and Rec, who also appeared in Judd Apatow’s movie Funny People, neither of which I’ve seen. Before the podcast, I had no idea who Aubrey Plaza was; in fact, I think I loaded hers on my iPod accidentally when trying to transfer a Mike Birbiglia episode.
Anyway, her story was sort of interesting, not riveting, but I was walking the dogs, and it was the only thing on my Shuffle I hadn’t listened to yet so I kept it running. At one point, Maron asked her who she’d like to work with in the future, and she admitted she had admired Rosie O’Donnell since middle school, had read her autobiography Rosie multiple times. She said she followed a lot of Rosie’s career advice from the book. For example, Rosie wrote, Never have a net. So Plaza had never gotten a “real job”, always counting on making her living through her art.
And that hit me in the gut. I realized I not only have a net, I’m in my net. I’m highly qualified in my net. I’m National Board-certified in my net. I’ve been lying in my net for going on ten years. Long enough to have indentations in a criss-cross pattern on my back.