not much of a reader
There’s nothing wrong with not being a reader. I just can’t imagine we could hold a mutually interesting conversation.
My relationship with my creator
Again, nothing wrong with that, and I’ve got no problem with a dude who believes in a Higher Power, but if you call It “your creator”, chances are you’re way farther along the religion spectrum than I am, and I think religion is one of those things like ‘desire for children’ where, in order to have a relationship, two people have to be relatively close.
i love to laugh
Seriously? Who writes this? Raise your hand if you hate to laugh. Or even if you’re kinda take-it-or-leave-it on the whole laughter issue.
Nobody.
That’s because everybody loves to laugh. Saying “I love to laugh” is like saying “I really enjoy orgasms”. Yeah, so does the rest of the human race, dumbass.
My reproductive organs
Let me qualify that. If you say that you overcame cancer of your reproductive organs, that’s one thing. However, if this phrase is in the section of your profile titled “Six Things I Couldn’t Live Without”…no.
I like a woman with some booty lol.
Oh, cruelest of ironies! I’ve got the booty and I lol about it regularly. What a wonder to find someone who appreciates it. Yet the fact that you write that on your dating profile makes me want to punch you in your reproductive organs.
*These are all phrases taken verbatim from OKCupid profiles. Fortunately not all from the same profile because that person would be the worst possible match for me. No, wait a minute. Forgot I already found him.
Oh my god, this is such a rich topic for riffing!
How about:
despises the elderly
curses the deaf
hates children
eyelid tic
prone to rages
upsetting birth mark you will not see until date 3
smells odd. not bad, necessarily, but a little odd. imagine the smell inside of a shop that sells Afghani rugs and handcrafts, but different. and odd
love the phrases…you should read the senior stuff..if u need some writing material! I just llove the handles or user names i guess…Never been kissed(doesn’t that get your motor rolling at 62
Warlock Bob ..(pic has long grey hair sitting on a harley)Bubba Fridge..(a fridge is more handsome) CAslowhand(i’m now about to vomit)..then all the fun guys who are so creative and look like they are posing for the passport pic…Barry123FUN(wow that took thought)..HowlingWolf FUN
So…i will keep collecting them..and will now try to get some good profile phrases as well. the last i remeber was I used to be in allkinds of sports in my youth..well laudy frickin daw! ..and i am Norma Jean who looked like Marilyn Monroe in my youth you fuckwit!
Dani, I haven’t seen any of those yet, but I’ll be on the lookout.
Norma! Ha ha! I think you should go out with Warlock Bob.
makes me want to write a bad rap song.
Do it, Margo!