I’ma need you to do something for me.
Wait, let me back up.
I think I’m done teaching fourth grade.
Nine years ago, when I got into the New York City Teaching Fellows program, I intended to teach high school. But I was told I needed a Bachelor’s in my subject area, and I really didn’t want to prod a bunch of adolescents into fulfilling their foreign language requirement. Ándale, muchacho! What I really wanted to do was teach theatre, and I cursed myself for not following my bliss at UNC. My options were limited. There was huge push for us to go into Special Education or English as a Second Language…No phanx. The next highest on the most-likely-to-find-a-job list was elementary.
Now I definitely wouldn’t trade my nine years in third and fourth grades. I’ve learned so much about teaching and learning disabilities and autism and compassion and patience. Moreover, I’ve met some of the world’s dopest people doing it. But I think I’m done.
And in North Carolina, as far as I can tell, you don’t need an undergraduate degree in your subject area to teach high school. You just have to take a certifying exam called the Praxis II. I took this exam for elementary when I was planning to move down here because it was required for my NC certification. Even though I had received a Master of Science in Elementary Education—with a 4.0 and an A+ on my thesis—and taken New York’s certifying exams. Shit, how ’bout some reciprocity, Tar Heel State?!
Anyway.
High school drama teacher jobs are damn near impossible to come by since there’s maybe one at each school, and I’ve realized that I think I’d enjoy teaching English nearly as much.
So! I’m going to take the content knowledge and pedagogy exams for English Language, Literature and Composition, on July 30.
Here’s where you come in.
Wait, let me back up.
In elementary grades, one of the many things we do is help kids find their Just-Right Reading Level. That is, not too easy so they get bored, and not too hard so they get frustrated. Just Right so they learn and grow. Aw.
Well, I don’t know about you, but when I was in high school, we were tracked. Oh-five level classes were for the smarty-pantses, 04 for the kids who did pretty well, 03 the average ones. (No one talked about 02, or 01—you just heard mumblings now and again about remedial classes. They were held in the dungeon or something.)
My older sister and brother were tracked into 05 classes, as was I, but I’m not entirely sure I had an 05 mind. A whole lot of the stuff we read in 05 English was above my Just Right Reading Level.
I resolved this issue by doing a number of things:
- Buying the Cliffs Notes.
- Having my brother read and summarize it.
- Not reading it.
OK, NOW here’s where you come in.
At least four days a week, I write on this blog, which I admit I love doing, but it takes work. If you come here to read, it’s because I, in some way, keep your interest. Maybe I entertain you; perhaps I just push your buttons. Whatever. I serve a purpose. But WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?
I have three months to read everything I should have read in high school and everything y’all probably did read in high school. So I expect a report of no more than 500 words in the comments from EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU FUCKERS. You may choose your piece of literature, but your report should include a brief synopsis, important themes, literary devices, and historical context. Extra points will be given for information about literary movements, such as New England Puritanism, Naturalism, or Transcendentalism. Or if you write your report as a rap (Dan M).
Go.
Signed,
Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty
