I’ve been thinking a lot about the conversation we had in the comments the other day. You know, about my being judgmental. I’m still a little surprised by Opiner’s reaction. Why did that post in particular offend him so mightily? I felt like that one was kind of a throwaway, actually. I wasn’t thinking horrible thoughts about CaryMale37. I just find unnecessary quotation marks funny. Clearly, I’m not the only one.
Listen, I make joke! (That has to be said with an Eastern European accent.)
I mean, yes, I’m judgmental. But seriously, once I get to know you, I nearly always adore you. I’m going to say 99.64% of the people I get to know? I am almost pathologically admiring of them. I’m arguing a case for their awesomeness inside my head at all times, and they just keep providing me with evidence. (The other 0.36% of the people I meet I think are total douches.)
So, should I judge people I don’t know? Probably not.
Do I do it? Yep.
Is it funny? I think so. Often.
…But I’m coachable. I’ll work on it.
I knew this guy, only peripherally really, when I lived in New York. He was probably in his mid-forties, businessman. At one point, he said to me, “I’ve started looking at all criticism as coaching. Even personal attacks, I just take as something to consider and work on to be more effective with people.”
My Catholic friend Cat frequently listens to a Buddhist podcast. When I told her about remembering what the businessman had said, she mentioned that her podcast monk often says something like: Let everyone be your Buddha. Every person that you meet appears before you to teach you something.
So, from now on, I’ll try to remember to reflect on my judgments of prospective dates.
I’ll probably still make fun of them on the blog, though.