I have a few lurkers who flat-out refuse to comment on the blog but send me emails about my posts. Today I got an email from a friend, which essentially said, “Toothbrush?…I call bullshit.”
People. Everything I write on here is true. I mean, I exaggerate a bit sometimes if it makes for funny. (My mom emailed me a couple weeks ago and said, “You’re too young to be having these bladder problems, especially since you’ve never had a baby! Go get it checked out!” And I had to tell her that I don’t pee my pants on a regular basis.)
(I totally did pee my pants that time when I was babysitting though.)
But I was not carrying a dildo in my backpack in that elevator. I will neither confirm nor deny my possession of such objects, but really? I emailed back, “Why would I have taken a vibrator to my sister’s house in Boston?”
She responded, “Because you lived in the living room and had no privacy.”
Touché.
But still. No. It was my Crest SpinBrush. Right hand to Jesus.
I know you’re lying now, you don’t believe in Jesus. :)
The lady doth protest too much me thinks….and I’m with Joe!
I believe in Jesus! I don’t think he was the son of God, but I totally believe he existed, and I think his teachings were inspirational and universal.
AND IT WAS A TOOTHBRUSH.
It’s fun watching you squirm Amy.
Ok, so you “swear” to a guy that you believe existed, was NOT the son of God, but was an inspirational and universal teacher…and you want us to believe it was a toothbrush. Maybe next time you can swear to Scooby Doo or Uncle Sam.
Um, yeah, I just always thought “right hand to Jesus” was a funny expression. I wasn’t actually swearing to him.
If it had been a vibrator, I would’ve said it was a vibrator. I think it’s pretty clear I have no filter. But (a) it was a toothbrush, and (b) it’s a funnier story because it’s a toothbrush. I don’t know why, but it just wouldn’t have been as funny if it were actually a dildo.