Bathtub Personality Disorder

Do you see it?

That's right: I caulked my bathtub. I'm a caulker. I caulk things.

Speaking of which, it’s my experience that every bathtub has a quirk.

Maybe the hot and cold faucets are on the wrong sides or turn backwards. Those are the special ed bathtubs.

Perhaps the water pressure is comparable to an eye dropper. Alternately, in the case of my great uncle’s house, it’ll blast your sins away (my sister’s words). Those bathtubs have boundary issues.

I can’t remember where, but I once used a shower where the faucet-to-shower-head mechanism was not a stopper or a switch; it was a ring around the opening of the spigot. You know, where the water comes out? Well, to make the water go up through the shower, you reached down and yanked on this metal ring. That bathtub needed to be different. That was a non-conformist bathtub (but it struck me as a little desperate, you know?).

Anyway, my current bathtub quirk is that, approximately 90 seconds after you’ve pulled up the thingy to relay the water through the shower, the spigot starts to whine.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”

I have to thwack down the stopper and yank it back up, and for the rest of the shower, we’re fine, the spigot and I. My bathtub likes to complain and get smacked around a little bit.

What’s your bathtub’s quirk?

51 thoughts on “Bathtub Personality Disorder”

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