Thrice in my life, I have fainted. Long about the third time, the cause/effect relationship was easy to identify. Here it is.
If I am:
- standing
- on a moving train
- in the morning
- without having eaten breakfast
I will faint.
Weirdest thing. I get all woozy. My vision narrows to nothing. And then I find myself supine on the train floor with a bunch of startled passengers wondering if I’m preggers or ODing. Or my sister does her best to carry me off the T, but I manage to get my shoe caught between the train and the platform and fall onto the marble floor.
Anyway, point is, it’s a formula; these circumstances lead to my faintage. Now I can avoid the situation by, say, eating breakfast or taking a cab. (Or moving somewhere with a really poor public transportation system therefore having to drive to work. Ah, done.)
I just wish it were easier for me to delineate other cause/effect relationships.
Like, for example, the one that led to my epic fucking temper tantrum at the gym tonight.
Is it that if I:
- spend two days untagging myself from Fight Gone Bad photos on Facebook because I am just goddamn enormous,
- eat two pieces of sheet cake at my principal’s goodbye luncheon,
- take a two-hour nap,
- watch all the other females in class do some semblance of handstand push-ups while I still struggle with the hands-on-floor/knees-on-box/ass-in-the-air variety,
- and finally, not be able to do any double-unders during the WOD (seriously, after getting 32 in a row last week, tonight I was getting two or one or none),
then I will have a big ol’ crying fit and storm out of the gym without saying goodbye to anyone?
Is that the formula?
Did I figure it out?
‘Cause if that’s it, maybe I can circumvent the Grand Tanty by drinking a cup of coffee or not eating Harris Teeter bakery products.
Or maybe I’ll just send out an invitation next time: Come to Amy’s Low Self-Esteem Day at CrossFit Durham!!
It was probably pretty entertaining to watch.
Aww, Amy. I didn’t see you cry or leave.
Don’t feel bad about #4 or #5. How many people didn’t even come to the gym today? Or any day for that matter? You are a fit woman! I was not able to do more than one double under tonight. Now, I’ve never done 32 either, but I did 5 one time, and usually can get 2 or 3. I switched to single unders after the first round because I gave up. And you were the ONLY person there tonight that can do a freestanding handstand. I’d break my back!
If I had to guess, #2 and #3 should be weighted heavily in this formula. Blood sugar (and gluten) spike plus nap would put me in a horrible, lethargic mood.
Bottom line: we all have off days. You had one. If that’s the worst thing that happened to you, then it was actually not too bad of a day at all. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve spent a lot of time crying the last two days after I found out my most recent ex has a new girlfriend already. In fact, the only reason I came to the gym tonight (despite my aching body) was to not sit home with any more thoughts of that man. Even if I didn’t get double unders, I didn’t think about him for at least 45 minutes. I’m going to consider it a success.
You are beautiful!
Bottom line,
Um, don’t know why that says bottom line at the end again. Oops. I’m clearly not the language arts expert.
No way. I believe it was the worst, but bad days–they come to us. Ideally, you funch them (K-Shi?!), but if that falis, you submit and have a goddamn tanty. It’s not indicative of anything other than a bad day, and you can only really worry once you have a whole bunch strung together, with no mitigating circumstances, moments, between. I’ve witnessed your awesomeness in the near past, so there’s no unchained misery to attest to. To which to attest.
So, wod, tomorrow? 5, 6? 7? You’re a temple of rad.
gluten and sugar. low blood sugar + low self esteem = tantrum.
it’s an actual formula. honest. i know because i know everything. and also i just made it up.
sometimes you just gotta have a tantrum.
better than having your stomach grind away at itself, like me.
1. i’m pretty sure “temple of rad” is gonna be my new favorite saying. LOVE it!
2. i think you should encourage the people who comment on your blog to start their own collective blog – these people (myself excluded, of course) are so witty and articulate and have such sweet things to say, i want to read more from them. make it happen, ame! i could help come up with a creative name if you wish.
3. i had a Grand Tanty yesterday too, although on my bed at home instead of at the gym. you’ve got me beat if only by location. ;-)
4. i’m writing this as i polish off McDonalds cinnamon melts. perhaps i should take a hint from yesterday and not stuff myself with sugar.
5. i hope today’s a better day for you. i love you to the moon. xoxo
I am personally a huge fan of the Grand Tanty and I’m contemplating one even as I type.
I concur with Erika- “Temple of Rad” is a new favorite saying and I can’t think of another phrase more suited to YOU.
I only wish I could have been there to witness said GT so I could possibly have made you giggle just a little ;)
Oh, and love you
I shall hug you and kiss the top of your head. You shall then be able to complete numerous double unders in succession.