[REDACTED]

I don’t want to create a me vs. them mentality in the class. I don’t want to have separate teacher supplies and student supplies. I want all of us to use the same markers and pencils and whatnot. I want my class to be a happy little socialist microcosm.

But last week something happened to make me reconsider.

[REDACTED]

(Ed. note: I can’t in good conscience post what I just wrote. If you’d like to read it, email me at amy@avidbruxist.com or whatever email address you use for me, and I’ll send it to you.)

Fingers Crossed

I was supposed to go in to work today. It was on my to-do list and everything. See?

  • laundry
  • mow lawn
  • weed-eat
  • unpack one box, just one—you don’t have to do all of them, Amy!
  • Home Depot
  • clean out fridge
  • work (plan lessons, get stuff from school fridge, feed hermit crabs)
  • clean out car
  • take stuff to Goodwill
  • cut lattice

All the kids have been have been peeing themselves with excitement about getting the hermit crabs. We set up our crabarium—ha!—early last week. Six or seven of them met me at PetSmart Thursday after school to pick out the hermit crabs. We got one small one, two medium ones, and a larger guy. The big guy has what was clearly supposed to be Big Bird painted on his shell, but wow, at first glance, he’s a dead ringer for Homer Simpson.

On Friday, all the kids looked at the hermit crabs and held them and switched them from the tank to the climbing cage and back. They couldn’t get enough. A fourth grader’s dream.

I mean, I put out water for them. And some food. A little food. Probably enough water.

Man, I hope those little fuckers are still alive tomorrow ’cause I am just not going in to work tonight.