Category: Learnin’ ‘Em Kids

I teach. Most of these posts are password-protected.

Chimney Sweep, Crocodile Wranger, Rodeo Clown

After a two-week break, the re-entry into the classroom was turbulent. I had had a fantasy that my fourth graders would spend their vacation days thinking about how their behavior affected others, what they could do to make the classroom more positive, and in what ways they might be more respectful to me.

Nerp.

By lunchtime, I was asking Facebook for career suggestions.

My sister offered astronaut. I’m getting kinda squirrelly about flying in my old age, and that’s just between RDU and Laguardia. A trip to the International Space Station might make me a little wheezy.

Some friends wondered about my being a professional dog rescuer or dog-sitter. Those I could go for…Do they come with health insurance?

Suzanne mentioned pole dancer. Well…I mean, that requires a lot of upper-body strength, doesn’t it? Also, I forget, how do strip joints feel about hip-to-knee cellulite?

Are they pro- or anti-?

Anti-, right?

Moving on.

Though I really like Steve’s recommendation that I become a guru-on-a-mountaintop, that sounds like I’d have to be, you know, wise or something, so I think my sister-in-law had the best idea: bajillionaire.

Now all I need is one bajillion dollars. Pony up, folks.

18% Country, 82% Rock-n-Roll

urlai.com says that my blog “is probably written by a female somewhere between 36-50 years old. The writing style is personal and upset most of the time.”

For the record, it’s 9% academic and 91% personal, 31% happy and 69% upset. Apparently, I’m dumb, self-absorbed, and histrionic. That sounds about right.

But I am not 36-50! I am 1-15 years younger than that! Their second guess on age is 66-100. Wow. What kind of geriatric shit am I putting down?

Also, in case you were wondering, I am 68% female and 32% male.

[Then I saw that it said, “The analysis is based upon 4 posts that has enough English words,” and the four posts it looked at were My Work Here is Done, A Mock Metal Soldier and a Duct Tape Salad, A Challenge for You, and Zeke & the Bee. Many of the words in those posts aren’t English, as they were written by my students!]