I keep meeting like-minded folk at the gym. By that, I mean skilled shit-talkers. You’ve already met Paul. Also, there’s Phil, and his lovely wife Erin. I could go on. The shit-talkers are various and sundry.
Today, we were doing the WOD in heats. I had already gone, as had the woman who sat beside me, both of us panting on the floor and cheering on the other athletes.
Now, remember Brutus? Despite the fact that there’s an ever-present stream of booming bass and/or loud guitars thundering through the speaker, Brutus is always wearing his iPod. I turned to the woman next to me.
Me: Do you ever wonder what Brutus is listening to?
Her: I kinda feel like it’s a motivational speaker.
Me: That’s what I thought!
Her: Maybe it’s his own voice. “Come on, Brutus! You can do it!”
Me: “Hands on the bar, you pussy!”
We watched him do some double-unders and 75-lb power snatches.
Me: Either that, or Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On for One More Day”.
Her: On repeat.
amy! hands on the bar, you pussy!
Amy > Paul.
it’s mostly metal and any other kind of deafening music he can get his hands on. i think he likes to drown the rest of us out
and, haha, funny, i just read the linked post you wrote about him back when you joined crossfit. i wasn’t reading your blog then so i couldn’t comment then. he’s very serious about his lifts and he’s great at teaching if you ever need help. he was a Marine for 8 years, so, yeah, that’s why he is the way he is. and, yes, he does use the word ‘tummy’ often, and it’s kind of funny to hear him say it, but i don’t hold it against him, i still love him :)
Margo, I put my hands on the vacuum today. To startling results.
Phil > Amy, thus Phil > Paul.
Anna C, you’ve dashed my fantasy to pieces, wench! I was enjoying imagining him in his Jeep, singing along to girl groups at the top of his lungs.
does it make you feel any better that he has been known to watch Dancing with the Stars? i still can’t believe that one myself, but i witnessed it with my own eyes several times so i know it’s true
Amy IS greater than Paul, but Phillip is NOT GREATER THAN OR EVEN EQUAL to Paul. Thus, by my logic Phillip is a soft-tittied douche bag.
Amy, don’t for a minute believe that Stew is listening to music to drown out what others are saying. He is, however, listening to loud music to drown out his own thought. Yes, thought, singular, not thoughts, plural. His thought, you’re wondering? “I wish I were in a boy band.”
Anna C, that totally makes me feel better. Now I have fodder for my fantasies again.
Paul, I’m going to have to check your work against the Soft-tittied Douche Bag Theorem.
Paul, I’m going you to bring down your wittiness-index a few notches. I haven’t been able to keep up lately. Your farewell line yesterday, “bye, sexuals!” left me speechless and in awe.
Amy > Paul > Phil
Thank you for your articles. They are very helpful to me. May I ask you a question?