Month: July 2018

Amy’s Fashion (Mis)Adventures: #no #booshit

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with more (mis)adventures! (If you want to read previous Stitch Fix/fashion posts, scroll to the bottom and click the Fayshun tag.)

Let’s jump right in with a #no. Don’t get me wrong–I love a peasant blouse but not this peasant blouse.

Brina & Em Pomona embroidery detail top $34

As always, Kate could articulate it perfectly.

Question: Am I too old for pigtails?

I have no interest in jellies, but pretty much my whole beach vacation, I had my sister-in-law do double French braids, and tbh I’d do them myself 6 out of 7 days except my arms get real tired.

Moving on. Stitch Fix did it again. I mean, it’s fine. It’s fine. V-necks flatter me; it’s basic black; the cut is decent. But as usual

Z Supply Heleyne v-neck knit top

Looking back on previous fashion posts, I’m astounded by how much #booshit I kept. I kept items that were not right, just because I thought they were the best I could get, or maybe the best I deserved. But the best I can get, what I deserve, is clothing that makes me feel great. Not

I feel like there’s a life lesson in there.

Next we had these pants that kinda looked and sorta felt like a fuzzy bathrobe.

Ellen Tracy Kellan belted wide leg pant $89.50

And hard as my knee-jerk #no was, I had the weird feeling that Kate would disagree, and I was right.

(Note: The orange biker sweatshirt mentioned below is a seminal fashion moment for your Avid Bruxist. If you weren’t around for it, click here.)

She didn’t hate them?

She said work, sure, but I just couldn’t do it. Felt like a clown, and eighty-nine and a half ducats is too dear for this Bozo. Sent them back.

Papermoon Farfalla back cutout blouse $38

Kate let me know Boden is a British clothing company that she’s obsessed with, and Ravello is one of their signature shirts. It’s a good shirt. Might have to get some.

Though, you know what? Part of my battle against diet culture/diet mentality has been curating my social media feeds to include body diversity, and man!, looking at Boden’s website has reminded me that most companies still feature only your garden-variety, taller-than-average, near-anorexic model. Stahp. For fuck’s sake. Maybe I won’t buy your goddamn Ravello.

Speaking of taller-than-average, I myself am not. I’m not even averager-than-average. You wouldn’t think that would matter when it comes to accessories, but that’s where you’re wrong.

Bay to Baubles Trevor long metal teardrop pendant $28

To be fair, “long” was in the name, but

She makes me google so many things! Apparently, JVN is Jonathan Van Ness of Queer Eye fame, and everything for him is a “moment.”

Since the first draft of this post, I’ve started watching QE, and I. Am. Obsessed.

Except with the episode where they solve police brutality against black men with a chat and a hug. That one made me want to throw my TV out the window.

Hey, if you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use this link. They’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep writing these silly blogs.

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Amy’s Fashion (Mis)Adventures: Golden Girls on the Lanai

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with more (mis)adventures! (If you want to read previous Stitch Fix/fashion posts, scroll to the bottom and click the Fayshun tag.)

For those just joining us, the way this works is: Stitch Fix sends me a package, and I try on the items and text my amateur impressions to my superfave Kate, who responds with her expert opinions.

Kate has an eye for fashion/lewks. First, she watches RuPaul’s Drag Race like all the time, except she calls it RuPaul’s Dreg Race because you can take the girl out of the Midwest, but you can’t take the flat vowels out of the girl.

Second, she likes it, and I’m not saying I don’t, but I’m all product and no process. I feel about fashion the way I feel about food. I like eating but not cooking. I like wearing cute clothes but not shopping/trying on/selecting. If that sounds to you like I just like results without putting any work, then you are very good at reading comprehension.

That being said, my sartorial acumen has improved over the last few years to the point where I at least know if something is a slam dunk, like this:

Adorne Scarlet Scuba Knit Dress $118

By “seeming detail,” she meant “seaming detail,” and by “the ladies,” she meant “your boobs.” So even though $118 is a lotta clams, I had to keep this one.

I did not have to keep the next one.

Gilli Deja Faux Wrap Skirt $48

It was a couple inches too long, and as Kate said, the pattern was “VV Golden Girls on the lanai.”

I’d say one piece out of every Stitch Fix is the emperor’s new clothes–an item they’re pretending is something but it’s really nothing, like this t-shirt. It had a seam detail straight down the back, but otherwise it was just a t-shirt.

Z Supply Atwell Linen Blend Knit Top $34

Have I mentioned that Kate is a giant nerd? Anyway, I can get t-shirts at Target for like $8 and in better colors.

Friends, how do we feel about white blouses? I feel good about the idea of a white blouse, and I have at least one in my closet, but I can count on zero hands the number of times I’ve worn a white blouse in the last five years. I can tell you though–if I were going to wear a white blouse, it wouldn’t be this one:

ID: 23 Stari Linen Blend Henley Top $48

I got an A+ from Kate on my assessment.

Have I mentioned that Kate occasionally skateboards in work clothes with her pet raccoon?

As you may have noticed, accessories from Stitch Fix have been hit or juuuuuust a bit outside.

Remember last Fix’s baroque BDSM necklace? So I was apprehensive to open the box this time, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Bancroft Kansas Drop Earrings $28

So I tried them on for her. Please excuse my hair. I… I don’t wash it.

I mean I wash it.

I wash it sometimes.

Kate said the earrings were cute and also my face. I mean my face was also cute, not the earrings were also my face.

Hey, if you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use this link. They’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep writing these silly blogs.

______________________

Become my patron on Patreon, and for as little as $1/month, see these posts early and get access to other super-secret posts!

Like Avid Bruxist on Facebook.
Follow Avid Bruxist on Twitter.

Read my other stuff at Fat CrossFitter and Baby Happy Pants.