Stitch Fixing, Part 11, with SATAN’S ABOMINATION

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist–she is back with another Fix! (Read part 10 here, and follow the links for previous posts.)

As I haven’t slept in over a year, I’ll be using the Lazy Girl’s Guide to Fashion Blogging for this post.

Step 1: Engage a fashion-conscious friend who is funnier than you in a text convo.
Step 2: Screenshot that shit.
Step 3: Post.

Hmmm, a fashion-conscious friend that is funnier than me… Oh, I know! Kaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

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A few days later I got this stern warning from Kate:

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To sum up:

  • wedding cake shirts, bad;
  • patterns, good;
  • date night looks a lot like something I do regularly (Wait, am I dating someone? WHO?);
  • elastic-waist printed pants are gay-gasp-worthy;
  • bad pants can be classified using a snark-to-hate crime bullying scale;
  • I need washboard abs, stat;
  • it takes two people to do one person’s hair, so just go ahead and give yourself a pass on that; and
  • sailor pants are Satan’s Abomination.

If you give a shit about brands and labels and stuff:

  1. Melbourne lace-overlay knit top from Moon and Sky (sent back)
  2. McCartney v-neck knit top from Papermoon (kept)
  3. Hearst cross-back blouse from Papermoon (kept)
  4. Emer printed cropped straight-leg pants by Margaret M (sent back)
  5. Siena cropped pants by Kut from the Kloth (sent back)

Hey, please use this link to try Stitch Fix for yourself because if you do that, they’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep posting these silly blogs about it. (I make zero dollars on my blogs. Keep me in couture, readers!)

Stay tuned for future Fixes!

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Read my other stuff at Fat CrossFitter and Baby Happy Pants.