Fayshun Quest

Let’s talk about fashion, because we haven’t done that in awhile.

You may or may not have followed along in my recent quest.

I first went to several discount stores: Ross Dress for Less, TJ Maxx, etc. It was not going well.

Eventually, I ended up at Macy’s, which seemed to be no better. 

  The only half-decent ones I found were like 160 bucks. No. Absolutely not.

I decided to head to other department stores.

She was in a nylon track suit, no less!

Like this but red.
Like this but red. It was delightful.

My gay husband Paul reminded me that Gypsy Rose Lee, too, wore tassels. That was a good point. I told him I’d buy a tassel-less purse and some sassy pasties.

Seriously, gross.

Indeed, there were a number of problems with that purse.

Finally, I hit Sears--yes, Sears--and the first one I picked up was from a designer with the same name as my sister. Fate.

purse purchased

You may be wondering why I needed boots, given that last year I bought tall boots and short boots. Well. The tall boots, which I loved so much, are wicked uncomfortable. They just barely zip around my calves. It's like wearing calf-tourniquets all day. Plus, as I mentioned, they're so tall, the tops dig into my inner thigh fat. So I never wear them.

I loved the short boots and used to wear them all the time. Used to.

See, Violet does this thing when she's nervous. She collects my shoes and bras. Doesn't chew them; just puts them in her bed or snuggles with them on the couch. I often come home from work to find a shoe, a slipper, a flip-flop, and/or a brassiere next to a warm spot on the chaise.

Look closely at the top right and bottom left. You can see her shadow against the wall.
Look closely at the top right and bottom left. You can see her shadow against the wall.

IMG_8235

Annoying to have to go around the house, gather my footwear, and toss my undergarments back in the hamper, but I can't get mad at her because

IMG_7472
she soooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute.

And besides, she never chewed them.

IMG_7642
MOTHERF

She must've been real nervous that day. So long, short boots.

The good news is, I went to DSW and found the same exact ones, except they didn't have them in brown, so I bought black. Fine, since I can't wear my black tall boots anyway because torture.

But now I need brown boots. Maybe brown tall boots? That don't boa-constrict or jam themselves into my laygs?

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Also, Kate told me to buy

Old Navy t-shirts
Old Navy t-shirts

in a variety of colors, you know, for layering with cardigans/jackets/whatnot. So I did.

...It's possible I've done less of the layering and more of the just wearing them with jeans and calling it a day.

Also, I haven't worn a skirt yet this school year.

<cowers, covers head>

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