Day 1
I pee by myself for the first time in six and a half weeks. It’s lonely.
When I bring them inside, Redford and Violet run to the spare bedroom to see if Buffy‘s there. (They will continue the practice for three days, at which point they resign themselves to the facts.)
I sit on my hands all day, trying not to email Jane to find out how Buffy’s doing. Jane emails me in the evening, letting me know that Buffy is settling in, although she does “spend the first few hours staring at the door” waiting for me to come back. She thanks me for my sacrifice, in the time it took to foster her and the “selflessness it took to give her up”. She says they’re really grateful and look forward to doggie play dates in the future.
I write back and thank her profusely for the update.
I feel guilty for loving the part about her staring at the door.
Day 2
Carolina Care Bullies posts a plea for foster families for two full-grown pits, one male and one female.
I ignore the post.
Day 3
I get an email from a CCB rep with the subject line, “Fostering again?” The rep explains that the two dogs from the prior day’s post, both two to three years old, had been confiscated in a cruelty case. They were taken to the shelter along with a dead puppy that was found with them. The female had had a prolapsed uterus but, after undergoing medical treatment, was recovering well. Would I consider fostering her?
I ignore the email.
Day 4
I run into Buffy and her two mommies at the Marry Durham street festival. Buffy is nervous and at first doesn’t realize it’s me. When I squat down and speak to her, she begins to wag. Wag, wag, wag. Her whole body wags. And then she presses herself into me. I start to cry. I’m so happy to see her. Jane and her partner tell me she’s doing great. Going for runs, totally fine in the kennel, no going potty in the house, no chasing the cat. We exchange promises about future play dates and say goodbye. I don’t want to say goodbye.
I send a message to CCB and say I can’t foster again right now. I’m too emotional. The rep responds that she understands.
Day 5
My friend, Kate K., emails me in the morning to see if I can do lunch. That reminds me I’m supposed to be trying a new modus operandi: Say yes and see what happens.
I email the CCB rep six words: I’ll do it. I’ll take her.
