You Dog-Blasted Ornery No-Account Varmint

Violet’s been on Trazodone for a long time now to keep her calm while the knee heals.

(By the way, I went to my vet on Thursday. “No, it’s not normal for her to be limping still. Call the vet school.” I called the vet school. “We’re closed Thursday and Friday to move to our new facility.”

Rattin rittin hittin bloatsum!)

You may remember when I tried to switch to Benadryl for a day. Fail.

Anyway, she’s been tranq’ed up for months. Yesterday, I ran out of peanut butter to smear on the pills, and I was gonna go to the grocery store, but then I didn’t, and then I forgot to give her her quaaludes. Guess what happened.

Those were prescription sunglasses.

This morning, I tossed her pills in ranch dressing, and she slurped ’em down. Wish I’d thought of that yesterday.