KTD

File this one under Kids These Days.

After the juice in my iPod was tapped, somewhere along I-78 West, I was flipping through radio stations, which I never do at home, as my dial is permanently set to 91.5 WUNC, the local Public Radio frequency. Anyhow, I heard “Rude Boy” by Rihanna. Have you heard this song?

OK, lemme just start by saying, I like pop music. I ain’t got no beef with some happy, up-tempo, synthesized tune with simple melody lines.

And at first, I was like it’s-got-a-good-beat-you-can-dance-to-it. But Christ, the lyrics suck. Here’s my favorite sample:

What I want want want
Is what you want want want
Give it to me, baby,
Like boom boom boom
What I want want want
Is what you want want want
Nah naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

That shit is Shakespearean yo. And this is the chorus:

Come here, rude boy
Boy, can you get it up?
Come here, rude boy
Boy, is you big enough?
Take it, take it, baby, baby
Take it, take it, love me, love me

I was talking out loud to myself in the car. “What the hell is wrong with people? How can they like this song?”

Then I remembered that my favorite song in 1986 was “Two of Hearts” by Stacey Q.

I even made up a routine to it.