Me: Sit. Good girl, Violet. (I unhook her leash. She sprints away.)
Redford: (bucking like a bronco) I WANNA GO I WANNA GO I WANNA GO.
Me: Then you need to sit.
Redford: There I sat NOW CAN I GO.
Me: Nice try. Sit.
Redford: (sits, trembling) Aw man. (I try to unhook his leash. He bolts and nearly chokes himself.) OK OK OK. (sits, trembling)
Me: Good boy. (I unhook his leash.) OK. (He sprints away.)
Redford: VIOLET WAIT UP oh my gosh I’m running so fast hi Violet did you see how fast I runned?
Violet: Ran.
Redford: Yeah ran.
Violet: No.
Redford: Oh, well I runned really fast wait I gotta poop. (poops, sprints to catch up) Hey wanna go this way?
Violet: No, I’m going this way.
Redford: OK how bout we go the way you’re going oh wait I gotta poop.
Violet: Go poop, then. I don’t need to hear about it.
Redford: (poops, sprints to catch up) Hey Violet wanna play chase?
Violet: Not unless a deer is ‘it’.
Redford: OK let’s go find a deer oh wait I gotta poop.
Violet: Ugh.
Redford: (poops, sprints to catch up) I can run faster than you Violet wanna see here I go!
Violet: So?
Redford: I gotta poop. (poops, sprints to catch up) Hey Violet what’re you smelling?
Violet: Something.
Redford: WHAT IS IT can I smell too oh my gosh it SMELLS LIKE POOP AWESOME! (drops and rubs his neck across it)
Violet: (sigh)