We polkaed! We got the Led out! We smoothed our hair like Tony Manero! Now we’re going all Ryan Seacrest for Track 5, Imagine Dragons’ “It’s Time”:
I like it all right, you know? It’s not a perfect song, but I like the chunka-chunka/bling-blingy-bling-bling thing they got going, and it’s fun to sing along to. (The line is: “It’s time to begin, isn’t it?” not, “Is it in?” I had thought it was rather evolved of him to share such an embarrassing question.)
Track 6 was “Don’t You Worry” by Swedish House Mafia:
I seldom in my life feel victorious. Do you guys? Do other people? I think no. We just don’t get a whole lot of opportunities to feel victorious in life. That’s probably why they invented house music. It’s impossible to listen to a rave tune and not be like, “I have vanquished all mine enemies, and now I shall dahnce! DAHNCE!”
Track 7 has really stupid lyrics (Even in a hurricane of frowns/I know that we’ll be safe and sound):
But the Capital Cities duo is adorkable, and it’s not horrible to listen to.
Here’s a truly terrible song for Track 8 though:
Everyone involved in this mess should be drawn and quartered.
Incidentally, until I Shazam-ed this song on Saturday, I believed this artist went by the name Jason the Ruler. Which I thought was really dumb, until I saw that his name was Jason Derulo, and then I thought, “What kind of idiot is named Jason Derulo and doesn’t capitalize on it by adopting Jason the Ruler as his stage name?”
Also, where you think he’s saying, “I find your hairs all over me,” and you’re like GROSS because nothing’s ickier than another person’s stray hairs, he’s actually saying, “Bind your hands all over me.”
What does that mean? I don’t know.
Next up: COUNTRY and PRAYER and AMERICA.