{"id":9171,"date":"2023-09-28T12:08:11","date_gmt":"2023-09-28T16:08:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=9171"},"modified":"2023-09-28T12:12:22","modified_gmt":"2023-09-28T16:12:22","slug":"helpless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2023\/09\/28\/helpless\/","title":{"rendered":"Helpless"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

One of my clients dashes out the back door as soon as I open it and heads into the yard for a potty break; the other gets close and then scooches backward, tail tucked. \u201cCome on, Sweet Girl,\u201d I tell her. \u201cI know you have to pee after being inside all day.\u201d But she refuses. \u201cWhatever,\u201d I say and leave the door open when I go outside in case she changes her mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had pulled into the driveway only three minutes before, but suddenly the sky is\u2026 different. Three hours\u2019 darker, and the wind\u2013my god, what is happening. It thunders, loud and close. I call the Good Boy, he gallops back, and we duck inside. The lightning and thunder are simultaneous and angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The noise that comes next is unlike anything I\u2019ve ever experienced. It\u2019s a sound, yes, but also a feeling, like a Mack truck running into the wall. The lights go out. \u201cHoly shit!\u201d I yell. The boys and I gawk out the window, and all we see is a snarl of green and brown. The same door I\u2019d just walked through is blocked by limbs and branches. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Arlo starts crying; Patrick is clearly frightened too. \u201cIt\u2019s OK,\u201d I tell them. \u201cWe\u2019re OK.\u201d And I shuffle them into their room. Patrick climbs in his bunk, and I snuggle Arlo in his. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every time it thunders, Arlo wails, \u201cOff!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t turn it off, buddy,\u201d I tell him. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I continue to coo at him and rub his back for fifteen minutes until I hear the rain stop. The sky brightens, and I peel myself off the bed and walk out the front door. It\u2019s sunny<\/em>. The landscape is littered with leaves and sticks. The giant willow oak had indeed dropped a 30-foot branch by my back door. The gutter is bent and dangling. Dang<\/em>, I think, that\u2019s gonna take some work.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I circle around the other side of the house and gawk. On my roof is a branch. But see, that word doesn\u2019t really do service to it. The oak itself is at least a dozen feet in circumference, so this \u201cbranch\u201d is more like the trunk of a regular-sized tree. I definitely couldn\u2019t wrap my arms around it all the way. And it\u2019s on my roof. On my roof? In<\/em> my roof. There\u2019s a hole, about the size of a minivan in my roof. The branch extends beyond the edge\u2013the whole soffit\u2019s ripped off\u2013and down into the yard. Two 8-foot sections of my fence are smashed to smithereens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFuck,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My neighbor Luis comes over. \u201cYou want me to get it off your roof?\u201d he asks. \u201cI do this kind of work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stunned, I tell him sure, and he heads off to get his chainsaw. I forget to ask him how much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brother-in-law comes down with his chainsaw too, and the two of them ascend to the roof and buzz away at it until dark. They barely make a dent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inside, my bathroom floor is soaked\u2013rain must\u2019ve poured through the vent\u2013and insulation hangs through a hole in my bedroom ceiling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFuuuuuuuuuck,\u201d I say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sleep terribly. Mid-August in central North Carolina is beastly, unlivable without air conditioning, but power is out in a huge swath of the city, and Duke Energy estimates it\u2019ll take days, maybe a week, to repair the damage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the morning, I duct tape my fridge door closed to remind me not to open it, and we go in search of a McDonald\u2019s that has power. The boys are delighted\u2013McMuffins and pancakes, what could be better?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back home, I inspect the damage again. Somehow it looks worse than the day prior. Phone calls to my insurance company don\u2019t go through\u2013I\u2019ll learn later they have no power or internet either. I don\u2019t own a chainsaw; I don\u2019t even own loppers. I stand in the yard with my hands on my hips. It\u2019s humid as fuck already, and the sun\u2019s only been up two hours. Tears brim in my eyes. I text my family: I feel so helpless.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brother texts back: You\u2019re not helpless. You\u2019re doing exactly the right thing under the circumstances. You are a rockstar of competence. Even rockstars have to deal with the early stages of a crisis by going to McDonald\u2019s sometimes.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just then, my brother-in-law stops by with his loppers and a hatchet. He has to go back to work, but his tools allow me to start clearing. I hack at a limb and drag it to the street. I hack another. And another. And within fifteen minutes, my mindset has totally changed. I think, it could\u2019ve been worse. <\/em>I think, the roof did its job.<\/em> I think, that\u2019s what homeowner\u2019s insurance is for<\/em>. I think, Jesus Christ, I\u2019m gonna get my steps in today.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I do, I cut and clear brush for almost ten hours. My phone tells me I have walked 9.37 miles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The roof will get replaced. The fence will get patched. All I have to do is feed my kids and put one foot in front of the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joan Baez said, \u201cAction is the antidote to despair.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ain\u2019t it though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

**********<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please support me on Patreon<\/a>! Choose your amount, and at least once a month, you’ll get a new and\/or exclusive post right to your inbox.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of my clients dashes out the back door as soon as I open it and heads into the yard for a potty break; the other gets close and then scooches backward, tail tucked. \u201cCome on, Sweet Girl,\u201d I tell her. \u201cI know you have to pee after being inside all day.\u201d But she refuses. … Continue reading Helpless<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9171"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9171\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9174,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9171\/revisions\/9174"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}