I’ve never been accused of being a waif.\u00a0 In fact, the Scotts are an ample clan.\u00a0 Not huge, by any means, but solid.\u00a0 Round.\u00a0 Rubenesque, if you will.<\/p>\n
(All except my brother, who’s always been built like a professional rock climber.\u00a0 Asshole.)<\/p>\n
I had boobs when I was, like, eleven, and my big, black ex-boyfriend used to effuse about my “sista booty”.\u00a0 My thighs are thick, my fingers like lovely little sausages…Vienna sausages.\u00a0 Everything about me is a bit bigger than it needs to be.<\/p>\n
So imagine my surprise to find that I have tiny<\/p>\n
tiny<\/p>\n
tiny<\/p>\n
veins.<\/p>\n
I went to have blood drawn, and the nurse tried my right arm, my left arm, and my left hand.\u00a0 Then she called for back-up.\u00a0 The second nurse had me take off my shoes so she could try to tap a vein in my foot.\u00a0 No dice.<\/p>\n
I have to go back on Monday.\u00a0 The second nurse told me to drink a lot of water, and she would try to procure a pediatric needle for the next whack at it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve never been accused of being a waif.\u00a0 In fact, the Scotts are an ample clan.\u00a0 Not huge, by any means, but solid.\u00a0 Round.\u00a0 Rubenesque, if you will. (All except my brother, who’s always been built like a professional rock climber.\u00a0 Asshole.) I had boobs when I was, like, eleven, and my big, black ex-boyfriend … Continue reading Fourth Percentile for Capillary Circumference<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-900","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fambly","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=900"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":904,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900\/revisions\/904"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=900"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=900"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=900"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}