{"id":90,"date":"2009-09-11T22:25:09","date_gmt":"2009-09-11T22:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=90"},"modified":"2009-09-11T22:25:09","modified_gmt":"2009-09-11T22:25:09","slug":"rehearsal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2009\/09\/11\/rehearsal\/","title":{"rendered":"Rehearsal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Woohoo!\u00a0 The costumes had come in.\u00a0 It was May 1993 and the Watauga High Pioneers were rehearsing the spring musical, none other than Oklahoma!<\/em>. I was Ado Annie.<\/p>\n

I walked into the theater and joined Charlie, who played the role of Will, in digging through the freshly opened boxes.\u00a0 I was secretly in love with Charlie, of course, but who wasn\u2019t?\u00a0 He was hot and had long hippie hair and skied and smoked a lot of weed and ran with a crowd of seven other hot, pot-smoking skiers.\u00a0 They called themselves The Rock Boys (because the were from Blowing Rock, but I liked to think it was cause they ROCKED).\u00a0 Most importantly, he laughed at my jokes, and he called me Cookie.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that sweet?\u00a0 Sigh\u2026Anywho.<\/p>\n

Charlie pulled a shirt, a vest, chaps, even a gun holster, out of the boys\u2019 costume box.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s nothing in ours but skirts,\u201d I whined.\u00a0 No shirts, no bloomers, no cowboy boots.\u00a0 Screw it, I decided, I\u2019d just wear the skirt with my T-shirt and Birkenstocks.<\/p>\n

The scene began.\u00a0 It was the one where the character with the annoying laugh\u2014I forget her name, but a girl named Susan played the part\u2014starts flirting with Will, and Ado Annie has to choke a bitch.\u00a0 This was our best rehearsal yet!\u00a0 Everything was going swimmingly.\u00a0 I slapped her.\u00a0 She kicked me. I yanked her hair.\u00a0 Everyone who was watching the scene was DYING.<\/p>\n

At that moment, a thought wormed its way into my brain.\u00a0 I had forgotten when I put on my costume that, at the end of the scene, Susan would throw my skirt over my head from the back and dart off-stage.\u00a0 It would be a really funny moment, see, while I wrestled with my skirt, my bloomers<\/em> out there for the whole audience to see.<\/p>\n

Except this was rehearsal<\/em>.<\/p>\n

And I wasn\u2019t wearing any bloomers<\/em>.<\/p>\n

All I had on under my skirt was my underpants<\/em>.\u00a0 And not cute ones.\u00a0 No, I had on period panties\u2014you know what I\u2019m talking about:\u00a0 gray granny panties with a stretched-out waistband.<\/p>\n

It was too late.\u00a0 By the time my mouth had caught up with my brain, Susan already had ahold of my skirt.\u00a0 She pitched it up in the air and took off.\u00a0 I stood there for a moment, while my butt got cold and a gasp erupted from the cast and crew.\u00a0 A white-hot heat bolted up my neck into my face.\u00a0 Sweat beaded on my upper lip.\u00a0 Everyone in the theater, except for moi<\/em> of course, fell into giggles.\u00a0 Finally, I came out of my stupor and sprinted into the wings.\u00a0 Seeing the curtain bunched up back there, I stepped over and carefully wrapped myself up, like a burrito.<\/p>\n

The curtains parted slightly.\u00a0 Charlie looked at me, and for one moment, I imagined he hadn\u2019t seen, or maybe he had seen but he had been bewitched by my ass and would take me away.\u00a0 We would smoke weed and listen to the Dead, and he\u2019d teach me how to ski, and then we\u2019d HAVE SEX.<\/p>\n

Instead he said, \u201cNo bloomers, Cookie?\u201d and sauntered away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Woohoo!\u00a0 The costumes had come in.\u00a0 It was May 1993 and the Watauga High Pioneers were rehearsing the spring musical, none other than Oklahoma!. I was Ado Annie. I walked into the theater and joined Charlie, who played the role of Will, in digging through the freshly opened boxes.\u00a0 I was secretly in love with … Continue reading Rehearsal<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-90","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=90"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":92,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90\/revisions\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=90"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=90"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=90"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}