{"id":8625,"date":"2018-10-11T19:50:28","date_gmt":"2018-10-11T23:50:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=8625"},"modified":"2018-10-12T11:04:52","modified_gmt":"2018-10-12T15:04:52","slug":"amys-fashion-misadventures-a-shirt-vomiting-another-more-hideous-shirt-out-the-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2018\/10\/11\/amys-fashion-misadventures-a-shirt-vomiting-another-more-hideous-shirt-out-the-back\/","title":{"rendered":"Amy’s Fashion Misadventures: A Shirt Vomiting Another More Hideous Shirt Out the Back"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist—she is back with another (mis)adventure! (For previous posts, scroll to the bottom and click the Fayshun tag.)<\/p>\n

Oh Guinness, where do I start? I’m like three months behind on this ish, and I have more than just Stitch Fix to tell you about!<\/p>\n

There’s BETABRAND.<\/p>\n

There’s the THRIFT STORE.<\/p>\n

There’s THAT’S ALL JUST THOSE TWO OTHER THINGS IT SEEMED LIKE A LOT MORE WHEN I STARTED THIS THOUGHT.<\/p>\n

First things first, I’d been seeing those “go to work in your yoga pants” ads all over Facebook, and I was like, that sounds delightful, add to cart plz.<\/p>\n

Admitted tactical error: ordering this pattern.\u00a0Obvs, the length is a problem too, but that can be remedied.\u00a0
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

What can’t be remedied? (1) The texture. They did not feel like yoga pants. Or maybe they felt like yoga pants previously napped in by a vv coarse-haired cat. So itchy. (2) To quote Kate quoting Michael Kors, “That has insane crotch.”<\/p>\n

If you want to try Betabrand, which I don’t recommend, use this link<\/a> and I’ll get 15 bucks off my next pair, which I’ll never buy because of the above reasons STOP SENDING ME EMAILS BETABRAND.<\/p>\n

Moving on to better pants, i.e. these jeans from Stitch Fix.<\/p>\n

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Some of these pics won’t have captions because I lost the page that said what brand they were and how much they cost<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yay! Uniform dark wash! Checked in with Kate to confirm.<\/p>\n

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When Kate says mama likey, then baby keepy, and that sounded much grosser than I meant it to.<\/p>\n

Moving on. Here are some other good pants.<\/p>\n

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Margaret M Sylvie printed straight-leg pant $98<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Pattern’s hard to see. Here’s a closeup:<\/p>\n

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And those are all the pants that are fit to print. Let’s do a dress!<\/p>\n

Kate and I agreed that the color palette on this was a thumbs-up.<\/p>\n

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Wisp Tress Ponte dress $74<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My problem was that the pattern accentuated my widest parts, and hers was that it was too short for work. I quote: “You’d sit down and it’d be all how’s your mother here’s a show.”<\/p>\n

Next up, this shirt demonstrates why…<\/p>\n

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…you always check the rear view!<\/p>\n

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<100 horrified face emojis><\/p>\n

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Let’s keep going with shirts. Here’s a totally OK shirt:<\/p>\n

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Kut from the Kloth Kaelynn mixed-material top<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Look, I get it–I’m paying not just for clothes but for someone to shop for those clothes, but let’s grant the premise that this is a $15 Kohl’s shirt–that means I’m paying my proxy $43 to hit the bargain bin. I shan’t do it.<\/p>\n

Here’s another totally OK shirt:<\/p>\n

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Kate agreed it was just OK. I sent it back.<\/p>\n

Now for a shirt that was not totally OK.<\/p>\n

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Verse Kori bell-sleeve blouse $46<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kate agreed.<\/p>\n

How about a cardigan with toddler accessory?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I haven’t worn it yet because it’s been global warming outside, but I think I will.<\/p>\n

I’m still such a fashion noob. Sometimes I don’t know simple things like whether you button…?<\/p>\n

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or don’t button?<\/p>\n

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I kept it, but I haven’t worn it yet. As I mentioned, global warming, plus I’m still not sure I should’ve kept it.<\/p>\n

Here’s a boring sweater I sent back. Not even the elbow patches could retrieve it from Boringville.<\/p>\n

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August Mist Josey elbow-patch pullover $44<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I’m wearing more dresses these days, so this number left me in a bit of a quandary.<\/p>\n

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Leota Landry faux-wrap knit dress $88<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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Ultimately decided the idea wasn’t well executed and sent it back.<\/p>\n

Welcome to another episode of Check the Back!<\/p>\n

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Andrew Marc Performance Annwin cut-out knit shirt $38<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I hope the problem is the shirts and not my back.<\/p>\n

I’m still confused about accessorizing. I can often figure out which earrings will go with that outfit or which necklace will go with that outfit, but I don’t know which earrings will go with that necklace.<\/p>\n

I probably should’ve kept these because they’re simple and would’ve gone with things, but they were… I can’t remember. Like in the 30-dollarses.<\/p>\n

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On the opposite hand, this necklace was too fancy for my taste:<\/p>\n

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Bancroft Sunshine filigree statement necklace $34<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The good news is I found summa them bead necklaces I was looking for when Stitch Fix sent me that…\u00a0thing<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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All at the thrift store for like 99 cents each!<\/p>\n

OK, I saved another goodie for the end for you. I had an opinion about this shirt, but I wanted to see what Kate would say.\u00a0Reader, take a minute and really think about what YOU think about it. See if it matches Kate’s and my assessment. (Ignore the pants.)<\/p>\n

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Market & Spruce Evelia mixed-material boatneck $58<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ready?<\/p>\n

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If you chose Burn It with Fire, you win!<\/p>\n

Hey, if you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use\u00a0this link<\/a><\/em><\/strong>. They\u2019ll give me a $25 credit, and I\u2019ll keep writing these silly blogs.<\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

Become my patron on\u00a0Patreon<\/a>, and for as little as $1\/month, see these posts early and get access to other super-secret posts!<\/p>\n

Like Avid Bruxist on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>.
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Read my other stuff at\u00a0Fat CrossFitter<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Baby Happy Pants<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist—she is back with another (mis)adventure! (For previous posts, scroll to the bottom and click the Fayshun tag.) Oh Guinness, where do I start? I’m like three months behind on this ish, and I have more than just Stitch Fix to tell you about! There’s BETABRAND. There’s the THRIFT STORE. There’s THAT’S … Continue reading Amy’s Fashion Misadventures: A Shirt Vomiting Another More Hideous Shirt Out the Back<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8645,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8625","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8625"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8625\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8700,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8625\/revisions\/8700"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8625"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8625"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8625"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}