{"id":8559,"date":"2018-07-05T10:29:39","date_gmt":"2018-07-05T14:29:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=8559"},"modified":"2018-07-06T06:32:32","modified_gmt":"2018-07-06T10:32:32","slug":"amys-fashion-misadventures-golden-girls-on-the-lanai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2018\/07\/05\/amys-fashion-misadventures-golden-girls-on-the-lanai\/","title":{"rendered":"Amy’s Fashion (Mis)Adventures: Golden Girls on the Lanai"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with more (mis)adventures! (If you want to read previous Stitch Fix\/fashion posts, scroll to the bottom and click the\u00a0Fayshun<\/a>\u00a0tag.)<\/p>\n

For those just joining us, the way this works is: Stitch Fix sends me a package, and I try on the items and text my amateur impressions to my superfave Kate, who responds with her expert opinions.<\/p>\n

Kate has an eye for fashion\/lewks. First, she watches RuPaul’s Drag Race<\/em>\u00a0like all the time, except she calls it RuPaul’s Dreg<\/strong> Race<\/em> because you can take the girl out of the Midwest, but you can’t take the flat vowels out of the girl.<\/p>\n

Second, she likes<\/em> it, and I’m not saying I don’t, but I’m all product and no process. I feel about fashion the way I feel about food. I like eating but not cooking. I like wearing cute clothes but not shopping\/trying on\/selecting. If that sounds to you like I just like results without putting any work, then you are very good at reading comprehension.<\/p>\n

That being said, my sartorial acumen has improved over the last few years to the point where I at least know if something is a slam dunk, like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Adorne Scarlet Scuba Knit Dress $118<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By “seeming detail,” she meant “seaming detail,” and by “the ladies,” she meant “your boobs.” So even though $118 is a lotta clams, I had to keep this one.<\/p>\n

I did not have to keep the next one.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Gilli Deja Faux Wrap Skirt $48<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It was a couple inches too long, and as Kate said, the pattern was “VV Golden Girls on the lanai.”<\/p>\n

I’d say one piece out of every Stitch Fix is the emperor’s new clothes–an item they’re pretending is something but it’s really nothing, like this t-shirt. It had a seam detail straight down the back, but otherwise it was just a t-shirt.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Z Supply Atwell Linen Blend Knit Top $34<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Have I mentioned that Kate is a giant nerd? Anyway, I can get t-shirts at Target for like $8 and in better colors.<\/p>\n

Friends, how do we feel about white blouses? I feel good about the idea<\/em> of a white blouse, and I have at least one in my closet, but I can count on zero hands the number of times I’ve worn a white blouse in the last five years. I can tell you though–if I were going to wear a white blouse, it wouldn’t be this one:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
ID: 23 Stari Linen Blend Henley Top $48<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I got an A+ from Kate on my assessment.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Have I mentioned that Kate occasionally skateboards in work clothes with her pet raccoon?<\/p>\n

As you may have noticed, accessories from Stitch Fix have been hit or juuuuuust a bit outside<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Remember last Fix’s baroque BDSM necklace<\/a>? So I was apprehensive to open the box this time, but I was pleasantly surprised.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Bancroft Kansas Drop Earrings $28<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So I tried them on for her. Please excuse my hair. I… I don’t wash it.<\/p>\n

I mean I wash it.<\/p>\n

I wash it sometimes.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Kate said the earrings were cute and also my face. I mean my face was also cute, not the earrings were also my face.<\/p>\n

Hey, if you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use\u00a0this link<\/a><\/em><\/strong>. They\u2019ll give me a $25 credit, and I\u2019ll keep writing these silly blogs.<\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

Become my patron on\u00a0Patreon<\/a>, and for as little as $1\/month, see these posts early and get access to other super-secret posts!<\/p>\n

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Read my other stuff at\u00a0Fat CrossFitter<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Baby Happy Pants<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with more (mis)adventures! (If you want to read previous Stitch Fix\/fashion posts, scroll to the bottom and click the\u00a0Fayshun\u00a0tag.) For those just joining us, the way this works is: Stitch Fix sends me a package, and I try on the items and text my amateur impressions to my … Continue reading Amy’s Fashion (Mis)Adventures: Golden Girls on the Lanai<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8576,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,125,20],"tags":[130,131,157,155],"class_list":["post-8559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cookin","category-fayshun","category-first-world-problems","tag-fashion","tag-fayshun-2","tag-lewks","tag-stitch-fix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8559"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8575,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8559\/revisions\/8575"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}