{"id":8484,"date":"2018-04-02T18:00:40","date_gmt":"2018-04-02T22:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=8484"},"modified":"2018-04-04T14:29:21","modified_gmt":"2018-04-04T18:29:21","slug":"stitch-fix-redux-parts-3-4-i-cant-keep-up-with-my-life-you-guys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2018\/04\/02\/stitch-fix-redux-parts-3-4-i-cant-keep-up-with-my-life-you-guys\/","title":{"rendered":"Stitch Fix, Redux: Parts 3 & 4, I Can’t Keep Up With My Life You Guys"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with another Fix! Actually two–I’m behind schedj.<\/p>\n

My internet was out when I got the first Fix, so I had to throw it back to a simpler time. I took pix on my computer, hitched the ox to my covered wagon, and traversed the treacherous 1\/2 mile to Kate’s house. How did the pioners do it?!<\/p>\n

I knew these pants had problems, namely that they were slightly too long and the seam on the bottom of the pocket hits at exactly the widest part of my saddlebags.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Tinsel Casia Frayed Hem Chino Pant ($50)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But they are soft as puddin’, and I loooooove the color, and look how great they make my butt look:<\/p>\n

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My butt (priceless)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So Kate’s “hmm… yeah… big pockets” was considered and rejected. Keeper.<\/p>\n

But then<\/p>\n

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Liverpool Elizabeth Super Skinny Jean ($78)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

ugh. Also too long, but by a mile<\/em>–hello, elephant legs–and<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

UGH, the distance between my back and that waistband! I could fit a whole package of Oreos in there!<\/p>\n

Oh dang, maybe I should’ve kept them.<\/p>\n

Then there was this sweater, which fit pretty well.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Skies Are Blue Blivin Ribbed Fitted V-Neck Pullover ($58)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kate’s problem was that it whiffed of a long-blouse-under-a-tight-sweater ensemble from long about ’98, but that was not an issue for me because I LOVED THAT LOOK. Keeper.<\/p>\n

The next item was an automatic no because I could barely get it over my bewbs, but even if it had fit, Kate’s quote was<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Collective Concepts Adda Ruffle Trim Cross ($64)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“Oh, are you going to a Ren faire<\/em>? What is happening<\/em>?! The fly away and the sheer and the boob slings and the ruffles and is that a tie<\/em>?!”<\/p>\n

It was, dear reader. It was a tie.<\/p>\n

In sum, there were too many design elements going on.<\/p>\n

Then there was… whatever this was.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Skies Are Blue Darice Cold Shoulder Blouse ($54)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I recoiled at the 90s rental beach condo upholstery pattern, but there was something else Kate couldn’t put her finger on. Turns out, it was that I don’t know how to put on clothes. It was supposed to be like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Kate and I are in agreement about the cold shoulder lewk–fart noise–so wearing it as the designer intended didn’t help.<\/p>\n

So that was the first Fix. I wear the red pants alllllll the time and the sweater enough to make it worthwhile.<\/p>\n

Moving on to the second Fix. My internet was back up, so I could use textual messaging like a normal person.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Skies Are Blue McClain Crochet Panel Knit Top ($54)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It was similar to a Gap blouse I bought a million years ago on a shopping trip with Kate. (Kind of hard to see, but it’s the second to last picture in\u00a0Fayshun! Amy Goes Rogue and It Doesn’t Go That Well<\/a>.) I didn’t like this one as much as the old one, but because of my laundry philosophy (“Everything is machine washable if you just believe”), the old one was pilling and faded.<\/p>\n

Kate said this new shirt worked, so there you go. Also working for Kate despite my display of arm cellulite:<\/p>\n

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41 Hawthorn Tristana Essential Knit Faux Wrap Dress ($78)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Wrap does my shape right, v-neck always works for me, and skirt hits the knee at that mythical “right spot” apparently.<\/p>\n

Then oh my goodness. What even. Woe. WOE.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Q&A Nebula Peplum Keyhole Detail Blouse ($58) and Margaret M Christiana Jacquard Printed Pencil Skirt ($78)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kate and I agreed. Four thumbs down.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Don’t worry, reader–I too had to google peplum.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Evolution by Cyrus Yashi Fitted Bell Sleeve ($64)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In short, no, no compelling reason.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Last time I clicked the “my stylist didn’t listen to me” button, they sent me a message that made me think they put her out the airlock, so I decided to stay mum this time.<\/p>\n

Do I want to continue despite this service’s imperfections? I do. I hate shopping\u00a0that much<\/em>. I may in the near future switch to a plus-size service like Dia&Co because I seem to be getting more and more plus-sized. Might have something to do with the fact that I eat like a high school athlete and exercise 3\/4-heartedly once a week.<\/p>\n

If you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use\u00a0this link<\/a><\/em><\/strong>. They\u2019ll give me a $25 credit, and I\u2019ll keep writing these silly blogs.<\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

Become my patron on\u00a0Patreon<\/a>, and get access to super-secret posts!<\/p>\n

Like Avid Bruxist on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>.
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Read my other stuff at\u00a0Fat CrossFitter<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Baby Happy Pants<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with another Fix! Actually two–I’m behind schedj. My internet was out when I got the first Fix, so I had to throw it back to a simpler time. I took pix on my computer, hitched the ox to my covered wagon, and traversed the treacherous 1\/2 mile to … Continue reading Stitch Fix, Redux: Parts 3 & 4, I Can’t Keep Up With My Life You Guys<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8486,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125],"tags":[130,155],"class_list":["post-8484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun","tag-fashion","tag-stitch-fix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8484"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8484\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8507,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8484\/revisions\/8507"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8486"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}