{"id":8141,"date":"2016-05-04T06:33:42","date_gmt":"2016-05-04T10:33:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=8141"},"modified":"2016-05-04T06:33:42","modified_gmt":"2016-05-04T10:33:42","slug":"stitch-fixing-part-12-now-with-sassy-poses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/05\/04\/stitch-fixing-part-12-now-with-sassy-poses\/","title":{"rendered":"Stitch Fixing, Part 12, Now with Sassy Poses!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with another Fix! (Read part 11 here<\/a>, and follow the links to previous posts.)<\/p>\n

Kate, my fayshun guru, was HERE, you guys, LIVE AND IN THE FLESH. As I’m sure you understand, it was imperative that Kate and I see the new Key & Peele movie together on its opening weekend, so she hopped in\u00a0her trusty hovercraft\u00a0and came down south. Bonus: She got to be the fayshun fotografer for Stitch Fix #12! You know what that means! SASSY POSES.<\/p>\n

First up,\u00a0Rondot split-neck blouse:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0079\"<\/a>
Sassy Pose #1<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"Sassy<\/a>
Sassy Pose #2<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"Sassy<\/a>
Sassy Pose #3<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Despite Patrick’s skeptical look, I was for it, and so was Kate, though she mentioned that there’s no way to avoid showing bra straps, unless I went strapless. Haaaaaaaaaa. I own a strapless bra, but it gets exhumed from the bottom of my closet only for, like, weddings and shit.<\/p>\n

No worries–my undies drawer contains\u00a0a veritable panoply<\/em> of\u00a0beige bras<\/em><\/strong>. (You know me! All sex, all the time!) An earth-toned brassiere and a cami, done and done. Keeping it.<\/p>\n

Next,\u00a0Abbey Colorblock striped infinity scarf:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0086\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THESE INFINITY SCARVES.<\/p>\n

And as Kate says, this one has “a built-in pop of color.” A++. Keeping.<\/p>\n

Then we have these\u00a0Adorra skinny jeans:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0088\"<\/a><\/p>\n

PRO: “You wouldn’t have to get them hemmed,” said Kate.<\/p>\n

PRO: Say it with me–UNIFORM DARK WASH.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0089\"<\/a><\/p>\n

PRO: The cut at the waist minimizes my muffin top.<\/p>\n

CON: The rise is pretty low, so when I sit down, my undies show.<\/p>\n

But they’re good quality and comfy, so I’m keeping them. I’ll just make sure I don’t wear them with a crop top.<\/p>\n

(Haaaaaaaaaaaa. Crop top.)<\/p>\n

Here we go! A black\u00a0Queensland jersey top, which looks like a regular shirt…<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0075\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Except NO!<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0076\"<\/a><\/p>\n

“What’s happening?!” I said to Kate. “I feel like a flying squirrel.”<\/p>\n

“Ah,” she said, “Dolman sleeves.”<\/p>\n

I said, “Dol-what now?”<\/p>\n

She said, “Dolman. That’s what they’re called,” and pulled her mouth to one side.<\/p>\n

“You’re not a fan,” I said.<\/p>\n

She said something about elephant arms and, as a general rule, avoiding them, so\u00a0I was gonna send it back, but after she left, I tried it on again, and it’s super-soft, and I like the neckline. Moreover, it\u00a0hides my soft middle. (By the way, why am I so soft in the middle now<\/a>? Why am I so soft in the middle? The rest of my life is so hard.) Keeping it!<\/p>\n

Last and definitely least, this\u00a0Concord striped draped-pocket cardigan (reminiscent of Fix 6’s cardigan), which I really do not like at all, but I will do sassy poses in anyway:<\/p>\n

\"Sassy<\/a>
Sassy Pose #1<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"Sassy<\/a>
Sassy Pose #2<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The back view is not The Worst, I guess, but those draped pockets do nothing for my front, and the purple stripes are solid but\u00a0the gray stripes are heather, which seems real weird to me, BUT THEN AGAIN WHAT DO I KNOW.<\/p>\n

I would’ve sent it back, but as with Fix 6<\/a>, the Buy 5 discount made it cheaper NOT to.<\/p>\n

So! Do you\u00a0want a weird-striped, draped-pocket cardigan? I could send it as a MAJOR AWARD to a reader\u00a0who uses\u00a0this link<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>to try Stitch Fix. If you do that, they\u2019ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep writing these silly fayshun blogs.<\/p>\n

Stay tuned for future Fixes!<\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

Like Avid Bruxist on Facebook<\/a>.
\nFollow Avid Bruxist on Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Read my other stuff at Fat CrossFitter<\/a> and Baby Happy Pants<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist, she is back with another Fix! (Read part 11 here, and follow the links to previous posts.) Kate, my fayshun guru, was HERE, you guys, LIVE AND IN THE FLESH. As I’m sure you understand, it was imperative that Kate and I see the new Key & Peele movie together on … Continue reading Stitch Fixing, Part 12, Now with Sassy Poses!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8145,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8141","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8141"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8141\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8164,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8141\/revisions\/8164"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}