{"id":8115,"date":"2016-04-25T10:33:39","date_gmt":"2016-04-25T14:33:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=8115"},"modified":"2016-04-25T10:33:40","modified_gmt":"2016-04-25T14:33:40","slug":"stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/","title":{"rendered":"Stitch Fixing, Part 11, with SATAN&#8217;S ABOMINATION"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist&#8211;she is back with another Fix! (Read <a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/03\/22\/stitch-fixing-part-10-or-ladies-ladies-please\/\" target=\"_blank\">part 10<\/a> here, and follow the links for previous posts.)<\/p>\n<p>As I haven&#8217;t slept in over a year, I&#8217;ll be using the <em>Lazy Girl&#8217;s Guide to Fashion Blogging<\/em> for this post.<\/p>\n<p>Step 1: Engage a fashion-conscious friend who is funnier than you in a text convo.<br \/>\nStep 2: Screenshot that shit.<br \/>\nStep 3: Post.<\/p>\n<p>Hmmm, a fashion-conscious friend that is funnier than me&#8230; Oh, I know! <em>Kaaaaaaaaaaaaate.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9950\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8117\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8117 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9950.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9950\" width=\"596\" height=\"704\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9950.jpg 596w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9950-254x300.jpg 254w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 596px) 100vw, 596px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9951\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8118\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8118 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9951.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9951\" width=\"745\" height=\"1017\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9951.jpg 745w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9951-220x300.jpg 220w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 745px) 100vw, 745px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9952\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8119\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8119\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9952.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9952\" width=\"750\" height=\"965\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9952.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9952-233x300.jpg 233w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9953\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8120\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8120 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9953.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9953\" width=\"750\" height=\"993\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9953.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9953-227x300.jpg 227w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9954\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8121\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8121\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9954.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9954\" width=\"750\" height=\"754\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9954.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9954-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9954-298x300.jpg 298w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9954-225x225.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9955\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8122\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8122\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9955.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9955\" width=\"750\" height=\"965\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9955.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9955-233x300.jpg 233w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9956\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8123\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8123\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9956.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9956\" width=\"750\" height=\"1044\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9956.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9956-216x300.jpg 216w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9956-736x1024.jpg 736w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9957\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8124\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8124\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9957.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9957\" width=\"750\" height=\"1034\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9957.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9957-218x300.jpg 218w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9957-743x1024.jpg 743w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9958\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8125\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8125\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9958.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9958\" width=\"750\" height=\"916\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9958.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9958-246x300.jpg 246w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9959\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8126\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8126\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9959.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9959\" width=\"746\" height=\"989\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9959.jpg 746w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9959-226x300.jpg 226w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 746px) 100vw, 746px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9961\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8128\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8128\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9961.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9961\" width=\"750\" height=\"733\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9961.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9961-300x293.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9962\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8129\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8129\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9962.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9962\" width=\"750\" height=\"1035\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9962.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9962-217x300.jpg 217w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9962-742x1024.jpg 742w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9963\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8130\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8130\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9963.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9963\" width=\"750\" height=\"953\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9963.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9963-236x300.jpg 236w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9725\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8133\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8133\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9725-e1461438218481.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9725\" width=\"488\" height=\"650\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9965\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8132\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8132\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9965.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9965\" width=\"750\" height=\"930\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9965.jpg 750w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9965-242x300.jpg 242w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>A few days later I got this stern warning from Kate:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/img_9949\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8116\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8116\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9949.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_9949\" width=\"748\" height=\"873\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9949.jpg 748w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_9949-257x300.jpg 257w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 748px) 100vw, 748px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>To sum up:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>wedding cake shirts, bad;<\/li>\n<li>patterns, good;<\/li>\n<li>date night looks a lot like something I do regularly (Wait, am I dating someone? WHO?);<\/li>\n<li>elastic-waist printed pants are gay-gasp-worthy;<\/li>\n<li>bad pants can be classified using a snark-to-hate crime bullying scale;<\/li>\n<li>I need washboard abs, stat;<\/li>\n<li>it takes two people to do one person&#8217;s hair, so just go ahead and give yourself a pass on that; and<\/li>\n<li>sailor pants are Satan&#8217;s Abomination.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you give a shit about brands and labels and stuff:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Melbourne lace-overlay knit top from Moon and Sky (sent back)<\/li>\n<li>McCartney v-neck knit top from Papermoon (kept)<\/li>\n<li>Hearst cross-back blouse from Papermoon (kept)<\/li>\n<li>Emer printed cropped straight-leg pants by Margaret M (sent back)<\/li>\n<li>Siena cropped pants by Kut from the Kloth (sent back)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Hey,\u00a0please use\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.stitchfix.com\/referral\/5389752\" target=\"_blank\">this link<\/a>\u00a0to try Stitch Fix for yourself because if you do that, they\u2019ll give me a $25 credit, and I\u2019ll keep posting these silly blogs about it. (I make zero dollars on my blogs. Keep me in couture, readers!)<\/p>\n<p>Stay tuned for future Fixes!<\/p>\n<p>______________________<\/p>\n<p>Like Avid Bruxist on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Avid-Bruxist\/181941891834209\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook<\/a>.<br \/>\nFollow Avid Bruxist on <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/avidbruxist\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Read my other stuff at <a href=\"http:\/\/fatcrossfitter.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Fat CrossFitter<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/babyhappypants.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Baby Happy Pants<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist&#8211;she is back with another Fix! (Read part 10 here, and follow the links for previous posts.) As I haven&#8217;t slept in over a year, I&#8217;ll be using the Lazy Girl&#8217;s Guide to Fashion Blogging for this post. Step 1: Engage a fashion-conscious friend who is funnier than you in a text &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/25\/stitch-fixing-part-11-with-satans-abomination\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Stitch Fixing, Part 11, with SATAN&#8217;S ABOMINATION<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8133,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125],"tags":[130,131],"class_list":["post-8115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun","tag-fashion","tag-fayshun-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8115"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8115\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8139,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8115\/revisions\/8139"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}