{"id":7916,"date":"2015-09-03T06:01:45","date_gmt":"2015-09-03T10:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=7916"},"modified":"2015-09-03T06:01:45","modified_gmt":"2015-09-03T10:01:45","slug":"the-avid-bruxist-fixes-her-stitches-part-the-third","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2015\/09\/03\/the-avid-bruxist-fixes-her-stitches-part-the-third\/","title":{"rendered":"The Avid Bruxist Fixes Her Stitches, Part the Third"},"content":{"rendered":"

My third Fix arrived, and I would’ve been happy, except I had worn my Frye flats all day, so my pinkie toes were balls o’ burnin’ flame. (Seriously, what do I do about this? I sprinkled anti-chafing powder on my feet\u00a0about five times throughout the day. Am I wearing the wrong size or something<\/a>? Size 7s commit foot-murder on me, but I flop around in 7 1\/2s like an 8-year-old who’s raided her mom’s closet. I’m committed to finding something I can wear other than flip-flops, but Jesus.)<\/p>\n

I opened the box and tore apart the tissue paper. (One thing I’ll say for Stitch Fix is they do it up with the packaging—make it feel like an event.) First thing out of the stack was this little number:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5930\"<\/a>
Moni geo print blouse from 41Hawthorn<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I heard a tiny\u00a0tick<\/em> as I lifted it up. On the tile\u00a0by my feet was one of those brass-looking “buttons”. I figured it was just an extra, you know, like they put in a tiny ziploc on the tag, so you can sew the spare\u00a0on if one comes off.\u00a0Because you’re definitely a seamstress.<\/p>\n

WHY DO THEY EVEN DO THAT? Everybody knows you’re not gonna sew that button on. Everybody knows you’re gonna put it in a drawer until you move, and then it’ll go in a box labeled Random Crap, which you’ll shove\u00a0into the attic at your next place, thinking you’ll get back to it at some point. But Some Point never comes. In fact, you move that box six more times over the years, and then when you break your hip, and your ungrateful kids move you to a nursing home, and they dig through\u00a0six Random Crap boxes looking for swag, they wonder why the fuck you kept an assortment of random buttons and those magnets for ambulance-chasing lawyers that you peel off phone books before you recycle them.<\/p>\n

Well, turns out it wasn’t a\u00a0spare<\/em> button. It was one of the buttons from the sleeve, and\u00a0two more\u00a0<\/em>of them fell off as I was trying on the shirt. They weren’t sewn on, just pasted, and clearly not that well.<\/p>\n

Though the fit didn’t do anything for me—kinda made me look pregnant—I liked the print and maybe would’ve kept it, but hell if I’m gonna hot-glue-gun buttons onto a brand new shirt. Not my job. It went back.<\/p>\n

Between the fading pants of the first Fix<\/a>, and this button-sloughing top, I’m a bit concerned about the quality of items that Stitch Fix selects.<\/p>\n

Next up, more skinny pants:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5931\"<\/a>
Giovanni straight leg jean in brown from Level 99<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I liked the chocolate color, but these pants were really clingy. I know, they’re skinny jeans—they’re supposed to cling—but they didn’t do anything for my shape. No lifting or supporting in key areas. The look was less slim fit and more defective sausage casing. Sent ’em back.<\/p>\n

Moving along:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5933\"<\/a>
Hilson pleat detail blouse from Papermoon<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This filmy tank did not flatter—kinda made me look pregnant. And besides, I already own\u00a0a hot pink tank top that kinda makes me look pregnant. Bye bye.<\/p>\n

One of the nice features of Stitch Fix is you can write notes to your stylists, so last time I had written\u00a0something like:<\/p>\n

My friend Kate, who knows about these things, says I should try to incorporate some ‘statement jewelry’. Not that I know what that means, but she has a pair of earrings that are 2-inch white owls, so maybe that? I don’t do\u00a0bracelets but can work on wearing earrings, necklaces, barrettes, scarves, and belts.<\/em><\/p>\n

And they sent me these:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5932\"<\/a>
Carmelita twisted wire hoop earrings from Bay to Baubles<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

To their credit, they probably wouldn’t have made\u00a0me look pregnant, but they’re not statement jewelry. They’re, at best, crappy mall kiosk jewelry. Back they went.<\/p>\n

Was it to be a complete bust?! Was I going to send the whole enchilada back?!<\/p>\n

No, once again, a dress came to the rescue:<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5960\"<\/a>
Black and white Katana V-Neck Dress from London Times; pinkie-toe shredding Frye flats; wrist brace with thumb spica, for sexiness<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Goddammit with the dresses though. Would my poor, poor inner thighs<\/a>\u00a0survive?<\/p>\n

WELL, on the recommendation of a couple readers, I had ordered three pairs of Bandelettes<\/a>—lacy, garter-like whoozeewhatsits—that are supposed to preclude chafing… and they did! Rubbery strips on the inside\u00a0keep them in place, so though the lace pilled a bit, I ended the day with nary a hot spot. (And if my thighs weren’t 28″ in circumference and riddled with\u00a0cellulite, they’d probably be sexy.)<\/p>\n

And for #ThrowbackThursday: The\u00a0stuff bucket<\/a> I purchased 20 months ago is dying a painful\u00a0death. Or at least the handles are.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5936\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I wonder if Stitch Fix does purses…<\/p>\n

Stay tuned for future Fixes!<\/p>\n

And if you want to try Stitch Fix yourself, please use this link<\/a> because they\u2019ll give me a $25 credit, and in return I\u2019ll give you an internet high-five or smooch, your choice.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

Like Avid Bruxist on Facebook.<\/a>
\nFollow Avid Bruxist on Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Read my other stuff at Fat CrossFitter<\/a> and Baby Happy Pants<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My third Fix arrived, and I would’ve been happy, except I had worn my Frye flats all day, so my pinkie toes were balls o’ burnin’ flame. (Seriously, what do I do about this? I sprinkled anti-chafing powder on my feet\u00a0about five times throughout the day. Am I wearing the wrong size or something? Size … Continue reading The Avid Bruxist Fixes Her Stitches, Part the Third<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7917,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125],"tags":[130,131,155],"class_list":["post-7916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun","tag-fashion","tag-fayshun-2","tag-stitch-fix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7916"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7916\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7938,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7916\/revisions\/7938"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7917"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}