{"id":7622,"date":"2014-01-01T12:33:22","date_gmt":"2014-01-01T17:33:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=7622"},"modified":"2014-01-01T12:33:48","modified_gmt":"2014-01-01T17:33:48","slug":"7622","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2014\/01\/01\/7622\/","title":{"rendered":"1,700 Miles with Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/09\/21\/from-the-man-who-needs-no-introduction\/\" target=\"_blank\">Dad<\/a> and I drove to Massachusetts and back for Christmas. You&#8217;re welcome.<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (apropos of I don&#8217;t know what) I am one clever son of a bitch.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (recalling an acquaintance) What was her name? Siduri? No, that was the barmaid from <em>Gilgamesh<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_7624\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-7624\" style=\"width: 215px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/munchies-cheese-fix.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-7624\" alt=\"munchies-cheese-fix\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/munchies-cheese-fix.gif\" width=\"215\" height=\"278\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-7624\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Dad: Stuff is fuckin delicious.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (on the trip north) My ass hurts. Not the ass. The muscles underneath the ass. The ass muscles.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: Hard to know who to root for. I guess I&#8217;m rooting for the Buddhists.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: You and I could start a dog farm!<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (digging in his coat pocket, where he has stowed a few, loose) Care for a ginger snap?<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: I pressed the button for water and instead the machine gave me something <em>disgusting<\/em>, like <em>root beer<\/em>. Who drinks root beer? You like root beer?<br \/>\nMe: Sure.<br \/>\nDad: Well, de gustibus no est disputandum. That means &#8220;Carthage must be destroyed&#8221;. No, just kidding.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>My 4-year-old niece: An M&amp;M is a dead gumdrop.<br \/>\nDad: That&#8217;s poetic. Metaphor.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (after the waitress set my steak in front of me and headed back to the kitchen) What&#8217;d she say?<br \/>\nMe: Your liver&#8217;s coming out.<br \/>\nDad: That sounds serious.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (at Starbucks) Large black coffee. None of their hippie concoctions.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: (on the trip south) My ass hurts. Not the ass. The bones and joints underneath the ass.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: I don&#8217;t go to Mummy&#8217;s dentist. I don&#8217;t like Mummy&#8217;s dentist. She&#8217;s all <em>smiley<\/em> and <em>nice<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>**********<\/p>\n<p>Dad: I&#8217;m glad I showered and shaved before we ran into your friend. That way she didn&#8217;t go around saying, &#8220;I saw Amy Scott with her <em>derelict<\/em> father.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dad and I drove to Massachusetts and back for Christmas. You&#8217;re welcome. Dad: (apropos of I don&#8217;t know what) I am one clever son of a bitch. ********** Dad: (recalling an acquaintance) What was her name? Siduri? No, that was the barmaid from Gilgamesh. ********** ********** Dad: (on the trip north) My ass hurts. Not &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2014\/01\/01\/7622\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">1,700 Miles with Dad<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7624,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7622","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fambly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7622","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7622"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7622\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7625,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7622\/revisions\/7625"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7622"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7622"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7622"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}