{"id":7528,"date":"2013-10-13T16:09:30","date_gmt":"2013-10-13T20:09:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=7528"},"modified":"2013-10-13T16:09:30","modified_gmt":"2013-10-13T20:09:30","slug":"motion-to-disqualify-the-iggy-pop-look-alike-whose-paternal-grandmother-had-polydactylism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/10\/13\/motion-to-disqualify-the-iggy-pop-look-alike-whose-paternal-grandmother-had-polydactylism\/","title":{"rendered":"Motion to Disqualify the Iggy Pop Look-Alike Whose Paternal Grandmother Had Polydactylism"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I told my friend Meg about the challenge of choosing sperm without a partner<\/a>, she said, “Why don’t you get a group of your friends together to help you?”<\/p>\n

“Like a committee?!” I said.<\/p>\n

“…Sure, like a committee.”<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

APPLICATION FOR BABY BRUXIST SPOOJ-SELECTION COMMITTEE<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Legal name, or roller derby name<\/a>, or Carlos Danger name<\/a>, or whatever:<\/p>\n

2. Qualifications:<\/p>\n

3. Special skills [do not need to be jizz-related—I’m just curious]:<\/p>\n

4. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? [Answering Y will not count against you. This application is also a pre-screen for the Labor Committee, and I’m gonna need people with good stories in the delivery room.] Y\/N<\/p>\n

If Y, please provide details in bullet point format.<\/p>\n

5. In 500 words or fewer, or more, whatever, explain why would you like to be on the committee to choose the other half of Baby Bruxist’s DNA:<\/p>\n

__________________________________________________<\/p>\n

Compensation for participation:<\/p>\n

\"Gwyneth<\/a>
This diamond sperm necklace* worn by Gwyneth Paltrow.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

*Or maybe a hug and a beer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I told my friend Meg about the challenge of choosing sperm without a partner, she said, “Why don’t you get a group of your friends together to help you?” “Like a committee?!” I said. “…Sure, like a committee.” ********** APPLICATION FOR BABY BRUXIST SPOOJ-SELECTION COMMITTEE 1. Legal name, or roller derby name, or Carlos … Continue reading Motion to Disqualify the Iggy Pop Look-Alike Whose Paternal Grandmother Had Polydactylism<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7530,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7528","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fambly","category-first-world-problems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7528","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7528"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7528\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7532,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7528\/revisions\/7532"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7528"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7528"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7528"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}