At least, I didn\u2019t know it had one, but turned out, it had a panic function, which would flash the lights and sound the horn over and over if you hit the button on the fob.<\/p>\n
But I hadn’t hit the button on the fob<\/em>.<\/p>\n I grabbed my keychain and stabbed at the red button with the exclamation mark, but the noise wouldn’t stop. Until it did—phew—and then after a random interval (three seconds to four minutes), it would start again.<\/p>\n I got in and started the car. The cacophony stopped! Blessed silence! That lasted until I turned the engine off. Aaaaaaaargh!<\/p>\n At that point, I was worried my neighbors were going to burn my house down so I drove down to the pawn shop on the corner—my neighborhood is very classy—and called Durham P.D. and told them my car was possessed.<\/p>\n The dispatch was like, \u201cUh… this doesn\u2019t seem like an emergency,\u201d and I was like, \u201cNo… but yeah, can you please send somebody because I don\u2019t know what to do k thx.\u201d<\/p>\n I sat there for 20 minutes with the engine running, and then within 30 seconds of each other, four officers in three patrol cars showed up. I explained what was going on and turned off the engine, and we stood there.<\/p>\n A minute went by.<\/p>\n And I was like, \u201cOh fuck, it\u2019s not gonna do it. I\u2019m gonna look like a crazy asshole who calls 911 because she’s lonely<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n Me, tugging at collar: “Heh heh, I swear it was…”<\/p>\n It went off, thank god. The cops witnessed my poltergeist.<\/p>\n One of them popped the hood, opened the fuse box, and took out the horn fuse, which stopped the alarm. He said I wouldn’t be able to honk my horn, and I said that was A-OK. I thanked all the officers profusely and returned to my house without fear of an attack by an angry mob of my neighbors.<\/p>\n The next day I took my car to the mechanic, and when he looked inside the fuse box, he found pieces of acorns<\/em> and cigarette butts<\/em>. Turns out, the squirrels that lived in my pin oak had been wildin\u2019 out under the hood of my Subaru. Eatin’ acorns, smokin’, and chewin’ fuse wires.<\/p>\n I told you my neighborhood was classy. Watch out if you come over—the squirrels around here are hoodlums.<\/p>\n Couple years ago, I was in my house when a car alarm started going off intermittently. I was pretty steamed about it too because it was 11:00 on a school night. The alarm would ring out for a minute or so and then go quiet, and as sooooooon as I was drifting off to sleep, … Continue reading Wildlife<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7390,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-animules","category-the-estate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7382"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7382\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7392,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7382\/revisions\/7392"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"The](\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/IMG_0117-e1377049004395.jpg\")
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