{"id":7324,"date":"2013-07-26T16:00:04","date_gmt":"2013-07-26T20:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=7324"},"modified":"2013-11-12T21:29:37","modified_gmt":"2013-11-13T02:29:37","slug":"retrobruxist-friday-72613-also-i-could-use-a-little-guidance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/07\/26\/retrobruxist-friday-72613-also-i-could-use-a-little-guidance\/","title":{"rendered":"Retrobruxist Friday, 7\/26\/13, Also I Could Use a Little Guidance"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s funny how once you’re aware of a thing it clicks. Like with my finances—as soon as I over-drafted<\/a>, I was all, “Oh yeah<\/em>, regular bikini waxes during an extended (I mean extended<\/em>) dry spell? Probably not the wisest investment.” Click.<\/p>\n

(Seriously though: extended.)<\/p>\n

Same with my avoiding intimacy.<\/p>\n

I thought about the time recently when I tried to buy a movie ticket at the machine (so I wouldn’t have to talk to the ticket person, natch) and it wouldn’t give me the discount I thought I was supposed to get. I went through the line, asked the clerk about the discount, and when she told me they no longer honored it, what did I do? Did I buy a ticket from her? No no, I walked out of the line and back over to the machine<\/em>. Saved myself a good 15 seconds of one-on-one human interaction. Click.<\/p>\n

I thought about that night in March when I ran lights for a Monti\/Sacrificial Poets show. (It was very technical—I raised and lowered a dimmer switch.)\u00a0The sound person, with whom I sat in a booth for a couple hours, told the director later that she’d wanted to talk to me—she was a fan of mine(?!)—but I didn’t seem to want to talk. I must’ve come across as a super-snob. Click.<\/p>\n

I thought about the conversation I had with a friend a few months back at Nanataco. I made an off-hand comment about being addicted to Facebook, and she said, “Yeah, sometimes when we’re together and you’re on your phone, it makes me sad.” I apologized profusely, called myself a gaping asshole, and changed my behavior. But now it’s clear, of course, that my iPhone was a salve to soothe my intimacy-averse psyche, jangling from all that Being With. Click.<\/p>\n

The thing about recognizing I was being a spendthrift is that there was a pretty easy fix<\/a>. (In case the link breaks, google “snl don’t buy stuff”.)<\/p>\n

But the intimacy stuff? I imagine the conversation with the guy in the commercial for that.<\/p>\n

Him: “Just be<\/em> with people.”
\nMe: “How do I do that? I’m scared of them.”
\nHim: “You be with them anyway.”
\nMe: “Can I do this from the comfort of my own home, without any other people around?”
\nHim: “No, you actually have to be with people.”
\nMe: “What if I just hang out with my dogs instead? Will I get the same results?”
\nHim: “No, they are dogs.”<\/p>\n

Ugh. I need an action plan. Like, with SMART goals and stuff. Who’s on it?<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

Three years<\/strong> ago, Redford saved me from almost-certain bovine death<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Two years<\/strong> back, I told the story of how I was an accessory to a cr\u00edmen<\/em>. Mas o menos<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I made a threat<\/a> a year<\/strong> ago. I’m still down for it, Universe! (For real, so very, very extended<\/em>. Hhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnngggg.)<\/p>\n

What you may have missed on Fat CrossFitter: I always have good intentions<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Happy Retrobruxist Friday, y’all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s funny how once you’re aware of a thing it clicks. Like with my finances—as soon as I over-drafted, I was all, “Oh yeah, regular bikini waxes during an extended (I mean extended) dry spell? Probably not the wisest investment.” Click. (Seriously though: extended.) Same with my avoiding intimacy. I thought about the time recently … Continue reading Retrobruxist Friday, 7\/26\/13, Also I Could Use a Little Guidance<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules","category-dating","category-liftin-heavy-objects-over-ma-head"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7324"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7573,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7324\/revisions\/7573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}