{"id":6797,"date":"2013-05-02T17:58:55","date_gmt":"2013-05-02T21:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=6797"},"modified":"2013-05-02T17:58:55","modified_gmt":"2013-05-02T21:58:55","slug":"it-happened","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/05\/02\/it-happened\/","title":{"rendered":"It Happened"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Disturbance-in-the-Force.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6799\" alt=\"Disturbance in the Force\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Disturbance-in-the-Force.png\" width=\"432\" height=\"124\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Disturbance-in-the-Force.png 432w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Disturbance-in-the-Force-300x86.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 432px) 100vw, 432px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>And I felt all right, you know. They&#8217;re Calvin Klein (thus reasonable quality, I guess? I don&#8217;t know these things) and made of stretchy fabric, so they&#8217;re comfortable. And the way they felt, the way they fit, I kind of found myself strutting around like Sandy at the end of <em>Grease<\/em>, when she&#8217;s got all that skin-tight business on.<\/p>\n<p>But looking in the mirror\/at the picture&#8230;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_6798\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6798\" style=\"width: 485px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/IMG_5391.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6798\" alt=\"IMG_5391\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/IMG_5391-e1367456329654.jpg\" width=\"485\" height=\"650\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6798\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">my torso sits atop twin ice cream cones.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I just don&#8217;t dig the shape&#8212;so very narrow at the ankles, and so very expansive at the child-birthers. It looks like, if I put my feet together, everything would get wicked <a href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=rocks+balanced&amp;source=lnms&amp;tbm=isch&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=7rqBUc-PGoao8gSqh4DwDw&amp;ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&amp;biw=1185&amp;bih=779#tbm=isch&amp;sa=1&amp;q=rock+balanced&amp;oq=rock+balanced&amp;gs_l=img.3...49748.49748.0.50278.1.1.0.0.0.0.118.118.0j1.1.0...0.0...1c.1.11.img.lturw8jLrJ8&amp;bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&amp;bvm=bv.45921128,d.eWU&amp;fp=7e6a2301b9948e2d&amp;biw=1185&amp;bih=779\">precarious<\/a>\u00a0wicked fast. The tiniest tectonic movement, and I&#8217;d be supine. (Especially in my super-cute, red leather wedge sandals [that, like every other pair of heels, make my feet lose all feeling for 2-5 days].)<\/p>\n<p>This fayshun stuff is hard. (My first-world problems are so <em>hard<\/em>.)<\/p>\n<p>But the important thing is I&#8217;m making progress, right?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/IMG_2614.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6800\" alt=\"IMG_2614\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/IMG_2614-e1367457016483.jpg\" width=\"513\" height=\"650\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And I felt all right, you know. They&#8217;re Calvin Klein (thus reasonable quality, I guess? I don&#8217;t know these things) and made of stretchy fabric, so they&#8217;re comfortable. And the way they felt, the way they fit, I kind of found myself strutting around like Sandy at the end of Grease, when she&#8217;s got all &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/05\/02\/it-happened\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">It Happened<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6798,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun","category-first-world-problems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6797"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6797\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6805,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6797\/revisions\/6805"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6798"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}